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Dumbemployed Guest Post: At work today, a co-worker convinced me to go away with him for the weekend. But after dinner he drove the wrong way down a one-way street and a cop pulled us over. He said he was going to be arrested, which made no sense, but sure enough he was spread eagle against the trunk and they impounded the car. I was left alone two hours from home and had to take the train. I'm dumbemployed. Guest Post by: My Very Worst Date

by anonymous on 09/23/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( arrested stranded co-workers )

At work today, my boss had me and my partner working on the yuppie north side of town. When we came back, he asked if we'd arrested anybody. I told him we hadn't and he told us to work harder. I saw a stroller jaywalk. Does that count as a moving violation? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/23/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( cops police jaywalking )

At work today, they had me doing gift wrap. One gray haired lady placed a package in front of me. "It's not actually a present," she said. "But it makes me so much happier to pretend somebody gave a gift to me." I wrapped it without crying. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( gift wrap present old people )

At work today, the new kid was helping somebody buy a couch. He asked them what they'd use the couch for and they said sitting, obviously. Then they mentioned they wanted it to fold out into a bed, too. Then the kid asked what they'd be using the bed for. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/24/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( furniture couch beds )

At work today, they had me "tagging" all the photos on the corporate website. Everything's supposed to be appropriate and also true. So does that mean that I honestly tag the photo of Jeanine the secretary as "blazing drunk at the holiday party"? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tags photos drunk )

At work today, I accidentally used my external hard drive on a company Mac instead of my PC. It reformatted the drive. Now I have to go to the computer store before lunch in order to recover all my day's work. I won't be reimbursed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/24/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( external hard drive computers mac )

At work today, the movie trailer I was watching locked up my computer halfway through. Of course, my boss saw me at that exact moment. He asked me what happened and I told him it was a virus. He believed me. I don't know if I'm happy or ashamed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/23/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( trailer movie virus )

At work today, I spoke to an efficiency expert who wants to hack my employees away, unless I can find a way to justify each of them. The kicker? He wants a page about each one. I have fifty people working under me and a lot of work to do. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/21/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( efficiency layoffs summary )

At work today, two of our customers were debating about the best Michael Jackson song. One of them said it was "Billie Jean." The other one? He thought the best song was "Ice Ice Baby." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/19/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( michael jackson vanilla ice debates )

At work today, I asked for permission to research some international opportunities for the company. My boss asked me if I knew French. That would be a good question. Except the opportunities were in Asia. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/18/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( international opportunities french asia )

At work today, something stank to high heaven. I went over to the spices aisle and realized half the jars were open. Some customer had been "testing" the spices and forgotten to close the jars. I smell like a dirty kitchen now. I'm dumbemployed.

by teaceremony on 09/23/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( spices stink jars )

At work today, I started rocking out to my iPod with my eyes closed. When I opened them, three people were standing in front of me, waving their arms and dancing. They were mocking me, but I figured I might as well keep going. So I did. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( dancing ipod rocking out )
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