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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, this HR Nazi came over to all of our desks to make sure we were "being productive." I always work with headphones on because they help me focus. Apparently headphones are against company policy. Now it takes me two hours to do the work I used to do in one hour. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/24/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (14) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( headphones hr nazi company policy )

At work today, I got stuck inside the supply closet, literally. It was totally dark inside and I banged against the door for at least an hour.  I was about to quit when somebody opened the door- from behind me. It turned out I'd been facing the wrong direction. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/20/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( supply closet darkness directions )

At work today, I gave a museum tour to a bunch of parents and kids. I gave the usual spiel about dinosaurs and walked to the next exhibit. Then I heard a parent talking to her child. "Of course, dinosaurs aren't real," she said, "but wouldn't they be amazing?" Her son nodded. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/20/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( museum tours dinosaurs parents )

At work today, I couldn't help but gaze at the clock waiting for 3:00 when my students leave. The clock finally turned to that golden moment when little, idiotic, Peter came to my desk.  He asked me if I could stay after to help him. I was stuck there for another twenty minutes. I'm dumbemployed.

by smartguy9211 on 05/25/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( teacher school extra credit )

At work today, a guy came into the mall with crazy facial hair that I'd never seen before. It was like a spiral on both of his cheeks. I laughed and asked him what it was, but he looked back at me totally seriously. "It is called the swirlie." He didn't smile. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/25/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( facial hair spiral swirlie )

At work today, my coworkers were talking about some movie they had all seen together. At first it sounded like a comedy. But then things got weirder and weirder. I eventually realized that they'd all met up and watched porn. I wish I'd been invited. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/24/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( movie porn comedy )

At work today, a kid in a "car style" grocery car kept ramming into shelves. I finally told him he had to stop immediately. He didn't cry or call for his mom. Instead, he just pretended he was honking his horn. And he proceeded to run me down. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/22/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( grocery car style horn )

At work today, we had promised that we'd tune into the game on the radio. I was pretty excited, but my coworker spent about ten minutes trying to shift stations. He said he just couldn't find it. I went over to help him. Turns out he didn't know the difference between AM and FM. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/23/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( radio shift am )

At work today, I noticed that my boss was reading some thick book the entire time. I couldn't get him to come away from the counter. I figured it was a training manual. At the end of the day, I found out. Harry Potter 4: The Goblet of Fire. I'm dumbemployed.

by raeef on 05/23/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( harry potter reading training manual )

At work today, our manager announced that he had popped the question the night before to his girlfriend, Eileen. We were all happy for him and started chanting his name. He silenced us. Then he told us that she'd said "No". I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/25/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( engagement fiance failure )

At work today, I picked up all the discarded lotto tickets at our convenience store and examined the scratch off ones. A bunch were only partially scratched (but obviously losers). But I also found one that was worth 5 bucks. These are the people I sell things to. I'm dumbemployed.

by gabi89 on 05/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( lotto scratch off worthless )

At work today, nobody wanted to work drive thru window, which I can understand, because it is a fresh kind of horrible. But I did it. Have you ever had somebody yell in your ear the same order, three times, and still been unable to understand it? I'm dumbemployed.

by zarashia on 05/20/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( drive thru window yelling fresh kind of horrible )
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