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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, my supervisor gave us a training seminar on factory safety. He cut off his left ring finger during the demonstration. I'm dumbemployed.

by sweet_banny on 01/18/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( demonstration ring finger cut )

At work today, an incredibly hot chick came in to ask if we needed to upgrade our insulation (or something like that). Naturally, my boss called "dibs." Then I reminded him that he's married. With children. He said dibs still held. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/13/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( hot girl children married )

At work today, I heard an ethereal singing coming from the back room, near where we store all the extra pallets of t-shirts. I wandered back there, only to find Mike from receivables playing piano and singing his heart out. I'll never let him know that it was beautiful. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/13/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( singing t-shirts warehouse )

At work today, I got gum stuck in my hair. People recommended peanut butter, vinegar, shampoo, and even glue. These are my colleagues. I just cut the gum out. I'm dumbmeployed.

by anonymous on 01/20/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( gum stuck hair )

At work today, my girlfriend called me at the counter. I work at a floral shop that specializes in phone orders. But for a half hour, I was taking orders from my girlfriend. Now I have to catch up on 17 messages. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/17/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( flowers call girlfriend )

At work today, I offered to replace the milk bag (at restaurants, milk comes in a bag). What I didn't realize was that it was right next to the knives. Have you ever speared a milk bag? I feel like I killed a cow. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/14/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( milk milk bags restaurant )

At work today, I excavated the freezer. The expiration date on a frozen package of bologna? June 5th. 1997. I'm dumbemployed.

by haha206 on 01/19/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( expire freezer bologna )

At work today, a customer requested a refund on his TV. The reason? "It's not big enough." Couldn't he tell that when he bought it? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/19/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( refund tv bought )

At work today, I had a customer request to use the barter system. I told him we already have one- you give me paper called "money" and I give you stuff. He didn't understand. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/18/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( barter paper money )

At work today, I teamed up with a buddy as a barista. Then, I was informed that my buddy is now my manager. And turns out my manager is a jerk. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/17/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( barista buddy manager )

At work today, I tweeted 141 times from my station as a "greeter." Nobody noticed that I was looking at my phone the entire shift. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/18/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( twitter greeter phone )

At work today, I shared a tip with a customer on how to change the flapper in her toilet. She then asked if I could come over and change her flapper. At first, I thought she was hitting on me. Then I realized that she just wanted me to do work for her for free. I'm dumbemployed.

by madhatterjr on 01/13/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( flapper toilet work )
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