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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, everything seemed oddly blurry for most of the day. I figured it was allergies or something- the usual. When I got home, I noticed the cap was on my right contact lens. I'd forgotten to put it in. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( contacts blurry right eye closed )

At work today, a woman brought her car in and had a toddler in tow. We opened up the hood and started looking for the problem- a strange bumping noise. We found a Spongebob doll stuck inside the engine, and the woman has no idea how it got there. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/20/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cars spongebob engine )

At work today, I was editing a document when it got all garbled. Some weird error turned the apostrophes into random characters. Now I have to go through and find and replace all the screwy letters. The document is 1,062 pages long. It's about taxes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/24/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( editing apostrophes taxes )

At work today, I had to start a temp job because I got laid off from my old job. My boss asked me if I knew how to use Microsoft Excel. I have a Computer Science Masters Degree. But he was right- I don't know Excel. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/24/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( temp excel computer science )

At work today, we were informed of a small mishap with the Scantron machine. Apparently, the forms we had printed had a nearly invisible residue that broke the machine. Now we have to grade them by hand. I'm in charge of a class with 1,240 students. Each test has 100 questions.  I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/18/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( scantron tests broken )

At work today, the dreamy FedEx guy showed up again. He looks older than me, but he's still cute. I was so busy trying to flirt that I signed for the package without looking. Turns out it wasn't for our company. I spent all day figuring out how to correct the error. I'm dumbemployed.

by madequick on 06/21/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( fedex package wrong company )

At work today, my boss took me aside to inform me of a STRICT policy he was going to begin enforcing, requiring me to be in the office by 8am sharp (mind you, I have a 40 mile commute). He hasn't shown up before 9:30 for the past couple months (mind you, he has a 5 mile commute). I'm dumbemployed.

by officemonkey on 06/23/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( strict commute late )

At work today, people with "Race for the Cure" shirts came into our greeting card store. I explained to my coworker that the people with the shirts were racing for the cure. He tilted his head. "Do you think they caught it?" I asked him what he meant. "The cure," he said. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/19/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( race for the cutre greeting cards caught )

At work today, I went for a long run before coming into the office. I showered and changed, but my hair was still wet. The guy in the cube next to me started joking that I hadn't showered. It would have been funny if half the people hadn't believed that he was telling the truth. I'm dumbemployed.

by rafael_ul on 06/22/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( run hair showering )

At work today, the weirdest noise kept coming from inside one of the offices. It was a gush of air, a grunt, and a squeak. I crept up to the window and saw through the slats of the blinds. My boss was doing pushups, and his polished dress shoes kept squeaking on the floor. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( pushups dress shoes grunting )

At work today, our computers kept going down, as well as the rest of the power in the building. Finally, somebody investigated the generator. It turns out the problem was a squirrel. He'd been barbecued and was still stuck in the works. At least we couldn't smell it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/23/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( generator dead squirrels barbecue )

At work today, I was working one of the rides at our amusement park. There are little cubbies where people can put their keys, phones, whatever. One guy came in, by himself, and checked a laptop. Who brings a laptop to a roller coaster? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/20/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( amusement park cubbies laptop )
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