Register | About | RSS RSS | Login

Customers

At work today, I had to emcee an open mic. Yes, I know, that in itself is bad enough to be a story. But the even worse thing is that two of the people who signed up sang the exact same song. Wonderwall, by Oasis. And I listened. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/24/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( oasis wonderwall emcee )

At work today, we had a family come in to pick out a casket. I always try to be as sensitive as possible to people getting funerals. These people, however, didn't seem to care. The reason? They'd struck gold with the inheritance. That doesn't mean they got a nice casket though. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/24/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( casket funeral inheritance )

At work today,  I started to tell all my favorite customers that I was going to quit, just to see how they'd react. I told them I was running away to join the circus. Instead of laughing, most of them thought I was serious. And that I'd become a clown. I'm dumbemployed.

by im_im_im on 03/22/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( circus clown quitting )

At work today,  I spent about twenty minutes talking to a prospective customer. That would have been fine, but he had something bright red stuck in between his teeth. It was like a car wreck- I couldn't look away! Anyway, he didn't end up buying anything. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/21/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( sales teeth awkward )

At work today, I had about three customers come up to me and ask me if our business was on Twitter. I guess they were in on a convention from San Francisco. Well, we aren't on Twitter. I work at a deli. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/19/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( twitter san francisco deli )

At work today, I was showing a youngish girl a new wine we received earlier this week. She asked what went well with it, and I told her a few dinner items. She seemed interested- until she spoke.  She asked me what would go best with Doritos. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/18/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( wine doritos girl )

At work today, I was listening to "Mo Money Mo Problems" behind the register. A guy with a sweater around his neck came up to me. "That must be the nice thing about working here," he said. "You probably don't have to worry about money problems." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/18/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( mo money mo problems sweater jerk )

At work today, I was wiping down gym machines when I heard someone screaming. At first I thought they were hurt. Turns out they were lifting. After they were done, I went over to see what weight they were benching. Twenty five pounds flat. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/17/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( gym lifting screaming )

At work today, I was stuck handing out free samples of "delicious Parmesan cheese sticks." They were worse than they sound. But one little kid kept coming back. When I told him he had enough, he ran away. Then he came back with his mom- who proceeded to yell at me. I'm dumbemployed.

by raeraenana on 03/16/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( grocery parmesan brat )

At work today, I was serving a (white) customer a cup of coffee. I asked if he needed room for cream. He said he'd take it black. I nodded. "Once you go black, you never go back," he said and smiled. I'm Asian, but can I please still be offended? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/14/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( coffee racism offensive )

At work today, just as I was about to go on break, a customer insisted I show her our newest vacuums. I need commissions, so I talked to her for a half hour. After that, she revealed that she "just liked to keep posted" on the market. No break for me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/13/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( vacuums sales failure )

At work today, we had a customer come in. I didn't recognize her because she'd dyed her blonde hair red. She was offended I didn't know who she was. I told her I thought it looked good, at which point I realized that in addition to dying her hair, she'd also gotten a nosejob. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/12/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( blonde red nose job )
Username:

Password:

Remember: