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Weird Shift

At work today, I researched our company's history. I didn't realize it was still possible to work for a corporation that once had real, live slaves. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/14/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( history slaves corporate )

At work today, we all did calisthenics for the first time. It would be great team building if it weren't for the fact that no one in our group can touch their toes. I'm dumbemployed.

by valkyria_ship on 11/13/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( calisthenics team building toes )

At work today, I gave a close friend my business card. He said it felt like toilet paper. Sadly, I agree. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/12/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( business cards toilet paper sad )

At work today, my business partner revealed he's taken a job in New York. He wasn't going to tell me until I found the airplane tickets on my credit card statement. Yikes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/11/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( business partner new york job )

At work today, I relaxed my eyes for a few moments at the cash register. When I opened them, there was a line 7 customers deep. Whoops. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/09/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cash register line customers )

At work today, I was enjoying a little liquor at the bar after work. My manager literally hit me on the shoulder when he saw me. He never talks to me at work, but at the bar, he poured his heart out for an hour. I'm sure he'll still be a jerk tomorrow. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/08/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( liquor bar after work )

At work today, my wife made me wear a tie to work that my son gave me for my birthday. It would be a nice gesture. But you can't go in front of a judge wearing Spongebob. I'm dumbemployed.

by genephotography on 11/07/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( spongebob birthday judge )

At work today, I was greeting people at our Wal-Mart. Then my supervisor called me in to tell me I'm being demoted. Apparently, I'm not old enough for the job. I'm dumbemployed.

by farewelltolegs on 11/05/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( greeter wal-mart old )

At work today, I locked up for the night. Stuck inside the lock? A piece of chewed up bubble gum. Thanks kid. The key now is bright pink. I'm dumbemployed.

by xcrusnikx on 11/04/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( locked key bubblegum )

At work today, I rode in the elevator with the hot sales girl. My small talk? "So," I said. "Sure is high up, isn't it?" Great work on my part, huh? I'm dumbemployed.

by ikushima on 11/03/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( elevator sales small talk )

At work today, I realized why all the days blur together. I'm a janitor. And I've been inhaling the cleaning fluid. I'm dumbemployed.

by yanvarskayam on 11/01/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( blur janitor cleaning )

At work today, it was very cold out. How cold? I came into work and it took me ten minutes to realize I was still wearing my gloves. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/31/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cold gloves freezing )
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