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Weird Shift

At work today, we sent jam out to favorite customers for Thanksgiving. We got one back in the mail today. "Thanks for the gift," the note said. "But give me blackberry." That's not how gifts work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/24/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( thanksgiving jam blackberries )

At work today, I realized that it's my third anniversary working in this building. I also realized that none of the security guards know my name. Or my face. I'm dumbemployed.

by waltzingxdragon on 09/23/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( anniversary face security guard )

At work today, the final shoe dropped. We aren't supposed to talk to coworkers on the line. Now, we aren't even supposed to look at other humans. I am literally a robot now. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/21/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( final shoe looking talking )

At work today, I got my shoes shined before work by Ol' Pete. The only problem? Ol' Pete apparently uses spit instead of shoe polish. And he chews tobacoo. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/20/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( shoes shine chewing tobacco )

At work today, I received an email from a woman in our company. The previous email from her was "I'll get back to you in a sec." That was a month ago. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/19/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( woman email sec )

At work today, half the office came in wearing football jerseys. I'm not into football, so I didn't wear one. I was spurned the entire today. The scary thing is that I'm on the accounting floor- I can't imagine what it's like in sales. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/18/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( football jerseys accountants )

At work today, I nicked myself while shaving and cut my neck. I put a bandaid over it. When I came into work, my coworker turned white and pointed at me. "A vampire got you!" she said. I'm not sure if she was joking. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/16/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( vampire shaving bandages )

At work today, I had a typical day as a government employee. Three forms. 2 subforms. 1 resubmission. And 0 things actually accomplished. I was simply ordering office supplies. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/15/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( government office supplies forms )

At work today, I rolled up the cuffs of my jeans. It's the style. My manager tried to copy me. Instead of rolling his cuffs up though, he rolled the waist down. I saw things no woman should have to see. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/14/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cuffs jeans fashionista )

At work today, my company crafted a mission statement. It took us about an hour to figure it out. It's in Latin. The only problem is that none of us know Latin. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/12/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( mission statement latin hour )

At work today, the newspaper had an article about my business. The only problem? We are a fast food restaurant catering to teens. None of our customers will ever see the story. It's tragic. And unlucky. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/11/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( newspaper article teens )

At work today, we picked teams for the office basketball team. I played in college for my team and was a point leader. I got picked second to last though so that all the high ranking execs could get picked first. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/10/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( office basketball executive )
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