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Weird Shift

At work today, a guy came into the mall with crazy facial hair that I'd never seen before. It was like a spiral on both of his cheeks. I laughed and asked him what it was, but he looked back at me totally seriously. "It is called the swirlie." He didn't smile. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/25/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( facial hair spiral swirlie )

At work today, my coworkers were talking about some movie they had all seen together. At first it sounded like a comedy. But then things got weirder and weirder. I eventually realized that they'd all met up and watched porn. I wish I'd been invited. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/24/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( movie porn comedy )

At work today, I caught a customer taking pictures of the sales displays in our store. I asked them why they were doing it, and they said it was for their blog. The displays were just stacks of Pepsi cans. I'm glad that at least my life isn't that dull. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( sales displays blog pepsi )

At work today, I kept having to hitch up my jeans since I lost some poundage recently. I was about to leave when my coworker came over. "You have it too, don't you?" he asked me. I asked him what he was talking about. "A rash- that's why you keep chafing on your pants. Right?" I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/19/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( jeans pounds rash )

At work today, my coworker came in late yet again, but she called about it. She should be fired, but the HR manager says that if she calls, it doesn't give her a demerit. Well, that sounds good. I guess I'll just call and come to work whenever. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/19/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( coworker late hr )

At work today, we threw a birthday party for an eight year old boy. He requested the theme “Ballet Princesses.” At least the dad won’t be surprised when puberty hits, I guess. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/19/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( ballet princesses birthday )

At work today, my best friend decided to start focusing. Now I have to learn how to actually do work- and it turns out it sucks. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/19/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( focusing work best friend )

At work today, droves of customers descended on our grocery store for a two for one deal on detergent. What else do you need to know about the economy? I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/18/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( droves grocery detergent )

At work today, our manufacturer issued a “minor” recall. So minor that our warehouse is now completely empty. At least we have room for a Ping-Pong table now, if we aren’t all fired. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/18/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( recall manufacturer ping pong )

At work today, I had a minor victory by getting the parking space reserved for me at my office. Then I realized that my minor victories aren’t just minor- they’re microscopic. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/18/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( minor parking microscopic )

At work today, I brought in leftovers from last night’s delicious meal of pasta and chicken. An old woman I never talk to asked me for the recipe and then spent the rest of the time insisting that I was wrong. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/18/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( leftovers meal pasta )

At work today, we began lowering expectations for the quarter. We aren’t trying to break even. We’re just trying not to go broke. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/17/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( quarter expectations break even )
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