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Weird Shift

At work today, an anxious tremor began to come over me. I was finally going to ask out Darlene, the receptionist who I love. Well, I will have to wait a little longer. She came in today with her partner. Who's a girl. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/18/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( darlene receptionist anxious )

At work today, I was trying to stay hydrated. Well, I ended up peeing a lot too, as you might guess. That resulted in my going to the bathroom about five times. By the end of the day, I was accused of having a drug habit. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/16/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( drugs bathroom hydrated )

At work today, I looked outside because I heard some loud music. About ten kids were walking in a line, playing hip hop from boom boxes held up to their ears. It was like time traveling. I wish I could have time traveled to the end of work and joined them. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/16/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( boom box eighties loud )

At work today, I heard a rumor that Johnny Dep was going to be in the building for a photo shoot. Guess who loves him? I stayed camped out until 8 PM waiting. Turns out he was here for a photo shoot. Yesterday. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/14/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( johnny depp camped out photos )

At work today, my iPod started malfunctioning while I was cleaning windows. It sounded at first like a screeching, alien nose. I almost ripped them off my head. Then my coworker informed me he'd put his band's song on. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/13/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( ipod screeching alien )

At work today, I was listening to my coworker do somebody's hair. Her small talk got more and more invasive. Eventually, she was confronting this poor girl about having an affair. Tears and hair were left on the floor. I'm dumbemployed.

by fabtw on 11/11/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tears hair affair )

At work today, we went panning for gold on a work trip. Needless to say, we found none, of course. But when it was over, we went back to the hotel we're staying at and drank. Only later did we notice that our hands were covered in dirt- and gold flakes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/11/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( gold panning dirty )

At work today, the Jonas Brother's started playing on the radio. I swear, work came to a standstill. Nobody said anything, they all listened in rapture. I asked who the band was and got slapped in the face. I'm dumbemployed.

by nanjo_kouji on 11/08/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( jonas brothers rapture radio )

At work today, we installed a leather chair in the break room. Yes, leather. Let's just say that there was a little competition to see who would get to sit in it. How much competition? My coworker has a black eye. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/07/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( leather chair break room competition )

At work today, I sorted through the tip jar to try and find some good news. It didn't go well. Someone had left Monopoly money inside. Why would they even make the effort? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/05/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( monopoly tips tip jar )

At work today, the trees outside looked so pretty as I sat behind the drive thru window. I wanted to jump through it and scamper in them. When work ended, I climbed up on the highest branch. Then I realized that the view was of the place where I'd been stuck for a whole shift. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/05/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( trees drive thru window fast food )

At work today, I watched somebody playing dominoes during my lunch break. I tried to learn some of the jargon. When I came back to lunch, I accidentally cursed out my coworker. I'm dumbemployed.

by ubbergoober on 11/03/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( dominoes lunch cursing )
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