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Weird Shift

At work today, I heard this strange humming sound the entire time I was on the sales floor. I investigated once my shift was over and went into the basement. It was the radiator running. I don't need to tell you that radiators shouldn't be running in June.  I'm dumbemployed.

by madmagi on 04/25/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( humming radiator basement )

At work today, the rain just didn't stop the entire time. Our shop is pretty old, and water began leaking in from the roof. I set a huge bucket underneath a drip at 3PM. By five, I was taking it out back to dump. The weird thing is the water was a little brown. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/25/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( rain leaking bucket )

At work today, I was Facebooking and found one of the security guards online. It turns out he's a huge fan of Cher, Madonna, and, you guessed it, Liberace. He's at least 250 pounds. I'm impressed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( facebook cher madonna )

At work today, I decided to spend the entire time writing haikus about my company. I was doing great until I realized the full name of the company is different than what I was using. The full name, of course, is more than seven syllables. I work for the un-haikuable. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/20/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( haikus syllables procrastinating )

At work today, I followed my coworker on his lunch break. I followed him to the parking lot. He had a bottle of whiskey in his car, but instead of drinking from it, he poured a couple of drops onto his fingers, splashed them under his eyes, and went back inside. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/19/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( whiskey drinking splashing )

At work today, things were way too calm for the first hour or so- today is usually one of the restaurant's busiest days. Then we realized that there'd been a huge fire down the street. But eventually the firemen got hungry. So it worked out, except for the people in the fire. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/17/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( calm firemen fire )

At work today, I was gazing out the window of my corner office (no, I'm not rich and powerful, sadly). Anyway, we're on a low floor, and I could see a man pacing back and forth, double fisting clove cigarettes. When he came closer, I realized he was  a company vice president. I'm dumbemployed.

by questions_here on 04/16/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( corner office clove cigarettes vps )

At work today, one of the teachers at my school came into my office. I'm a principal, so I'm usually busy. But when this teacher sat down, he took his time. "Jack," he said, "I've decided to leave school and become a painter." He had been a gym teacher. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/11/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( teacher school principal )

At work today, I realized that everything around our office park is dead. Trees, grass, bushes. I was walking to my car and I saw a squirrel carcass in the road. I wasn't surprised it was dead- I was surprised it had gotten there in the first place. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/10/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( office park death dead squirrels )

At work today, we were driving from one stop to another when this group of little kids passed on the sidewalk without a chaperone. I looked for somebody and got out of the car to ask if they needed help. Instead of giving me an answer, the kid gave me the finger. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/09/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( driving charperone kids )

At work today, an extremely hot milf walked in with her little son who was eating french fries. When she left, I noticed that her son had dropped a fry on the ground. I was so bored, I picked it up and sat there contemplating for 7 to 8 minutes whether or not to eat it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/08/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( milf fries drop )

At work today, we had a few long distance bikers come inside. They were all sweaty and asked for the water fountain. Except for one. He went straight to the ice cream case and bought a case worth of Crunch ice cream bars. Then started eating them before even paying. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/08/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bicyclists ice cream athletes )
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