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Weird Shift

At work today, I started to try and touch the tip of my tongue to my nose. I found that if I put honey on the end of my nose, I actually wanted to touch it more. Weird, right? That part's fine. The bad part is I work in mortgages. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/25/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tongue honey mortgages )

At work today, I spent almost my entire shift watching TV waiting for a call. I'm a fireman. The weird thing is that "Backdraft" and "Rescue Me" were both on TV today. It's like I got my work done by watching other people do it. I'm dumbemployed.

by tbe_ooc on 03/24/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tv backdraft fireman )

At work today, we were looking through old advertisements sent to us by various companies. We found a few big tobacco classes. My favorite? A doctor bragging how Lucky Strikes helped out "the T Zone." 50's doctors are hilarious. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/21/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( advertising tobacco cigarette )

At work today, we had the weirdest guy come to our rest stop (and there's a lot of weird guys). This guy was weird because he  decided to pick a fight with everybody who came in. He didn't fight them, but he did insult them until escorted out by the police. He was 86. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/20/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( weird fight old people )

At work today, I was looking through logs of the people who have visited my company's website. One person reached us by searching for "Cat Stevens Sex Tape." I have no idea how- we  sell medical supplies. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/19/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( logs cat stevens medical supplies )

At work today, I started doodling on an Etch-A-Sketch we have by my register. I managed to crank out a pretty good Mona Lisa between customers. The sad thing? When my manager came over, she made me shake Mona out. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/16/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( etch-a-sketch doodling mona lisa )

At work today, I checked out customers at our CVS. We had one woman who bought about $200 in groceries. She bought overpriced bread, soups, soap, toothpaste, soda, and a ton of candy. The weird thing is that there's a Wal-Mart Supercenter about a block away. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/15/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( drug store food poor economic decisions )

At work today, I was supposed to scout out possible locations for a new store. Each time I went to an abandoned lot, I noticed that one car was following me. I think my company is being spied on. We sell paint. At least I know the spy has a more boring job than me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/13/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( locations store spies )

At work today, we made a new rule that we'd monitor our company's Wikipedia page around the clock. Guess who's put in charge of it? I'm supposed to input all the positive propaganda about our company. As soon as it gets changed back, I have to do it again. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/12/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( wikipedia monitoring propaganda )

At work today, I decided to test if I could make my boss laugh during a meeting. I started by touching my nose constantly. After that didn't work, I waved my arms back and forth. Finally, I tried standing up and turning in a circle once. When that didn't work, I stopped. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/12/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( laughing nose civil disobedience isn't fun when nobody notices )

At work in the mall today, I was stationed next to the guy who plays piano in the atrium. I was a little confused when he played "Piano Man" for the second time. He ended up playing it four times that day. I talked to him afterwards- he was crying. Wow. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/04/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( mall piano depressing )

At work today, a new place opened next door to us in the mall. It's apparently Japanese inspired. You put your feet in a tiny vat of water and baby fish eat away at your skin. It's supposed to clean them. And people actually pay for it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/03/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( japanese fish skin )
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