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Weird Shift

At work today, I had a devilish idea to sneak into the supply closet and take a nap on the extra cot we have. I tip toed over the carpet and was very careful before I opened the door. And then I woke up the person who was already sleeping inside. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cot nap devilish )

At work today, I continued my life sentence directly underneath the air conditioner. Being cool is cruel. Now I have to literally bring a sweater with me to work every day. The weather outside today? Over 93 degrees. I have on a cardigan. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cardigan air conditioners cold )

At work today, everyone was speaking with a British accent. Apparently, they missed talk like a pirate day and wanted to do something new. I found the accents terrible. But I wish I'd been invited to do them too. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( british pirates uninvited )

At work today, they had me "tagging" all the photos on the corporate website. Everything's supposed to be appropriate and also true. So does that mean that I honestly tag the photo of Jeanine the secretary as "blazing drunk at the holiday party"? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tags photos drunk )

At work today, I started rocking out to my iPod with my eyes closed. When I opened them, three people were standing in front of me, waving their arms and dancing. They were mocking me, but I figured I might as well keep going. So I did. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( dancing ipod rocking out )

At work today, they had me doing gift wrap. One gray haired lady placed a package in front of me. "It's not actually a present," she said. "But it makes me so much happier to pretend somebody gave a gift to me." I wrapped it without crying. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( gift wrap present old people )

At work today, I got back to my desk and discovered that I was the victim of a prank. The joke? My keyboard had been rewired to the Dvorak layout. I tried it and practically got carpal tunnel on the spot. I'm dumbemployed.

by tchu_tchu on 09/17/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( dvorak keyboard carpal tunnel )

At work today, I overheard two teenagers talking to each other about their parents. Each one liked the other's parents better. Typical. But then they started shouting that their own parents were "sexier." I didn't stay to see how it turned out. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/17/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( parents teenagers debates )

At work today, I worked out at the gym at work. After the shower, I found that my coworker was using the blow dryer. On her underarms. I let my hair stay wet instead of interrupting. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/11/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( gym blow dryer underarms )

At work today, I was looking at the business section of the local newspaper. They listed the biggest employer in our town as having 15 employees. Our company has 20. Either downsizing is happening, or journalism is dead. Either way, I know one thing. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/11/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( journalism business employees )

At work today, I kept putting off a very awkward email to my boss. My resignation. I finally sent it and he replied in a couple of seconds. "Wait, you still work here?" he wrote back. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/11/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( resignation email fired )

At work today, one of my coworkers showed off pictures from her recent vacation. My coworker looks like a model and has a really rich family. Her vacation was to a Star Trek convention. And yes, she did dress up. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/11/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( pictures star trek convention )
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