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At work today, I was taking a cigarette break when my coworker asked to bum a cigarette. I wouldn't mind that sort of thing normally. I'm a nice guy. But it's the fourth cigarette he's tried to bum today. There's a store down the street, buddy. I still gave it to him, though. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/24/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( cigarette bum excessive )

At work today, the cafeteria decided, for some reason, to "switch things up" and take away the ketchup we normally use and replace it with gourmet stuff. The only problem? They forgot to open the bottles. I was stuck prying at it for a half hour. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/24/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( ketchup lids cafeteria )

At work today, I accidentally used my external hard drive on a company Mac instead of my PC. It reformatted the drive. Now I have to go to the computer store before lunch in order to recover all my day's work. I won't be reimbursed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/24/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( external hard drive computers mac )

At work today, the new kid was helping somebody buy a couch. He asked them what they'd use the couch for and they said sitting, obviously. Then they mentioned they wanted it to fold out into a bed, too. Then the kid asked what they'd be using the bed for. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/24/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( furniture couch beds )

At work today, something stank to high heaven. I went over to the spices aisle and realized half the jars were open. Some customer had been "testing" the spices and forgotten to close the jars. I smell like a dirty kitchen now. I'm dumbemployed.

by teaceremony on 09/23/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( spices stink jars )

Dumbemployed Guest Post: At work today, a co-worker convinced me to go away with him for the weekend. But after dinner he drove the wrong way down a one-way street and a cop pulled us over. He said he was going to be arrested, which made no sense, but sure enough he was spread eagle against the trunk and they impounded the car. I was left alone two hours from home and had to take the train. I'm dumbemployed. Guest Post by: My Very Worst Date

by anonymous on 09/23/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( arrested stranded co-workers )

At work today, my boss had me and my partner working on the yuppie north side of town. When we came back, he asked if we'd arrested anybody. I told him we hadn't and he told us to work harder. I saw a stroller jaywalk. Does that count as a moving violation? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/23/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( cops police jaywalking )

At work today, the movie trailer I was watching locked up my computer halfway through. Of course, my boss saw me at that exact moment. He asked me what happened and I told him it was a virus. He believed me. I don't know if I'm happy or ashamed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/23/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( trailer movie virus )

At work today, I had a devilish idea to sneak into the supply closet and take a nap on the extra cot we have. I tip toed over the carpet and was very careful before I opened the door. And then I woke up the person who was already sleeping inside. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cot nap devilish )

At work today, I continued my life sentence directly underneath the air conditioner. Being cool is cruel. Now I have to literally bring a sweater with me to work every day. The weather outside today? Over 93 degrees. I have on a cardigan. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cardigan air conditioners cold )

At work today, everyone was speaking with a British accent. Apparently, they missed talk like a pirate day and wanted to do something new. I found the accents terrible. But I wish I'd been invited to do them too. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( british pirates uninvited )

At work today, they had me "tagging" all the photos on the corporate website. Everything's supposed to be appropriate and also true. So does that mean that I honestly tag the photo of Jeanine the secretary as "blazing drunk at the holiday party"? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tags photos drunk )
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