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At work today, the dreamy FedEx guy showed up again. He looks older than me, but he's still cute. I was so busy trying to flirt that I signed for the package without looking. Turns out it wasn't for our company. I spent all day figuring out how to correct the error. I'm dumbemployed.

by madequick on 06/21/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( fedex package wrong company )

At work today, everything seemed oddly blurry for most of the day. I figured it was allergies or something- the usual. When I got home, I noticed the cap was on my right contact lens. I'd forgotten to put it in. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( contacts blurry right eye closed )

At work today, I was working one of the rides at our amusement park. There are little cubbies where people can put their keys, phones, whatever. One guy came in, by himself, and checked a laptop. Who brings a laptop to a roller coaster? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/20/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( amusement park cubbies laptop )

At work today, my boss apparently discovered "the slow clap." Everytime someone said something, he started clapping slowly and then speeding up, like he expected all of us to join in. The sad part is that he wasn't doing any of it sarcastically. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/20/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( the slow clap sarcastic movies )

At work today, a woman brought her car in and had a toddler in tow. We opened up the hood and started looking for the problem- a strange bumping noise. We found a Spongebob doll stuck inside the engine, and the woman has no idea how it got there. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/20/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cars spongebob engine )

At work today, I employed by powers of observation and noticed a flyer had a misprint, spelling "logistics" as "logestics." Unfortunately, I was stuck correcting the hundreds of files that have the exact same mistake. You don't even want to know the logistics of that. I'm dumbemployed.

by lacunabound on 06/20/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( flyer logistics logestics )

At work today, people with "Race for the Cure" shirts came into our greeting card store. I explained to my coworker that the people with the shirts were racing for the cure. He tilted his head. "Do you think they caught it?" I asked him what he meant. "The cure," he said. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/19/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( race for the cutre greeting cards caught )

At work today, we finally started requiring a key to use the restroom, since too many homeless guys were sneaking in and washing up. Turns out the change didn't matter too much. I had three different men ask me for the key. I was too scared to refuse. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/19/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( keys restroom homeless )

At work today, they didn't have any of the little lids for coffee cups, so I had to be very careful carrying my boss Nora's coffee. When I made it without spilling, I was very proud of myself. Then I got yelled at for letting the coffee "get too cool without a top." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/19/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( lids coffee spill )

At work today, we had a few customers return their organic apples. The apples looked perfectly good, but they had a problem that's happened a few times before. These apples were very, very organic. By that, I mean they still had worms. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/19/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( organic apples worms )

At work today, we were informed of a small mishap with the Scantron machine. Apparently, the forms we had printed had a nearly invisible residue that broke the machine. Now we have to grade them by hand. I'm in charge of a class with 1,240 students. Each test has 100 questions.  I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/18/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( scantron tests broken )

At work today, the corporate office dictated that we have a three percent increase in sales by the end of the month. Do they understand that they can't magically make things happen by saying they should? Apparently not- they're threatening layoffs. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/18/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( corporate sales magic )
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