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Bosses

At work today, I think I literally took ten smoke breaks. Yeah, I'm totally an addict. I came back from one and found my boss  standing in the doorway, looking angry. I thought I was in trouble until he spoke. "Damn it," he said, "I wish I could smoke again." I'm dumbemployed.

by valaannauru on 03/25/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( smoking cigarette depressing )

At work today, I came in at about 9AM to see a bunch of balloons hanging around the office. My supervisor was sitting at his desk smiling. I asked him why there were so many balloons, and he said we were celebrating being the least wasteful branch. With 200 balloons. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/24/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( balloons wasteful environmentally unsafe )

At work today, I finally met our boss's girlfriend. If you could call her that. Our boss is in his forties, and this girl is still in college. That would be fine- if she were at least attractive or smart. I had to remind her of the name of our company. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/23/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( girlfriend college ugly )

At work today, I got to leave a few minutes early. I snuck out but ended up stuck behind a red car. At first I didn't recognize it, but then I saw the silhouette of a crew cut on a fat man. I was tailgating my boss. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/22/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( leaving red car silhouette )

At work today, I learned I've been scheduled for my birthday. I think my manager considers it to be a birthday present for me. I didn't ask him to change it- it's tough to get him to change a schedule for a funeral. I'm dumbemployed.

by team_salvatore on 03/21/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( birthday present schedule )

At work today, I began to worry that my boss knows about my bad habit of reading Perez Hilton at work (the bleached hair does it for me!). All day he kept asking me for the latest gossip. Later I realized he didn't know about Perez- he'd just heard I slept with Rick in Sales. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/20/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( perez hilton gossip indiscretions )

At work today, my boss gave me the great news that I'm going to be transferred from Dubuque to New York City. I was jumping up and down for a while. Then he shifted some papers. "Whoops," he said. "That was for Kim, not Karen." Karen and Kim don't even sound alike! I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/19/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( transfers dubuque new york )

At work today, we began calling former clients who had left the company. Let's just say it isn't fun. My boss gave us a pep talk before we started. "Imagine they're your ex-wife." Then he frowned. "But she's not sleeping with a  twenty one year old." We all nodded in silence. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/18/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( ex-wives clients nodding in silence )

At work today, I was hoping to cut out early in order to get a good seat for the game. Of course, I got caught by my boss. He asked why I was leaving, and I told him the playoffs were on. He told me to TIVO it. "That's what I do with Lost," he said. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/17/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( tivo lost basketball )

At work today, my boss did what he always does- told somebody he's part Cherokee. He always finds a way to do it. This time, we were meeting with a client who had a brother who was a surgeon. Obviously, my boss found a way to make a joke about the "scalpel." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/15/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( cherokee scalpel surgeon )

At work today, my boss declared we could have a "casual day." Then he sent the memo out about what constituted "casual." Turns out I'll still be wearing a tie to work this Friday. And if you're a woman? Look forward to strapping on your heels. I'm dumbemployed.

by quietamaretto on 03/14/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( casual day heels tie )

At work today, my boss would not stop checking out the teenage girls coming in. I scolded him. He said, "Hey, there's no law against looking at the menu." Actually, I'm pretty sure there is a law against looking at the menu. I'm dumbemployed.

by taylorwho on 03/13/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( teenagers menu law )
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