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Bosses

At work today, my boss took me aside to inform me of a STRICT policy he was going to begin enforcing, requiring me to be in the office by 8am sharp (mind you, I have a 40 mile commute). He hasn't shown up before 9:30 for the past couple months (mind you, he has a 5 mile commute). I'm dumbemployed.

by officemonkey on 06/23/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( strict commute late )

At work today, I helped my boss by standing at the shredder machine to shred few papers. After that, he told me he needed three copies of them. I'm Dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( shredded copies copier )

At work today, the weirdest noise kept coming from inside one of the offices. It was a gush of air, a grunt, and a squeak. I crept up to the window and saw through the slats of the blinds. My boss was doing pushups, and his polished dress shoes kept squeaking on the floor. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( pushups dress shoes grunting )

At work today, my boss apparently discovered "the slow clap." Everytime someone said something, he started clapping slowly and then speeding up, like he expected all of us to join in. The sad part is that he wasn't doing any of it sarcastically. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/20/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( the slow clap sarcastic movies )

At work today, they didn't have any of the little lids for coffee cups, so I had to be very careful carrying my boss Nora's coffee. When I made it without spilling, I was very proud of myself. Then I got yelled at for letting the coffee "get too cool without a top." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/19/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( lids coffee spill )

At work today, the corporate office dictated that we have a three percent increase in sales by the end of the month. Do they understand that they can't magically make things happen by saying they should? Apparently not- they're threatening layoffs. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/18/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( corporate sales magic )

At work today, I was called into my boss's office. "Sit down," he said. I did and the chair quickly collapsed. "Now fix it," my boss said. Couldn't he have just told me that in the first place? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/17/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( chair boss )

At work today, I spent most of the time of my Twitter. At about 3, I got an @ message. "Get Back to Work." It was my boss- but on Twitter, he's VeronicaMars820. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/15/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( twitter boss procrastinating )

At work today, I was stuck cleaning up movie seats. Yes, it is the worst job ever. But that's not the bad part. The bad part is that as I left, I was my boss wedge a piece of gum to the underbelly of a trash can. Thanks a lot, boss. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/14/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( movies cleaning gum )

At work today, I tried to settle an ancient grudge with an old project manager who screwed me. I went to their cube, but they'd apparently moved to an office. I found her there, where she told me she wasn't a coworker- she was my boss. I should have settled a day earlier. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/14/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( project manager new boss settling )

At work today, a huge car wreck happened about three buildings down. We all went down to look at it, and my boss said "Man, it's just like NASCAR. Amazing." Except, of course, somebody probably got hurt. At least he didn't get a lawn chair. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/12/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( crash nascar cars )

At work today, I was struggling with a few of the functions I was trying to program. My boss is a marketing guy who, for some reason, is in charge of the engineers in our company. That makes sense. He suggested that I "get a fresh view on it." It's a program, not an ad. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/10/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( struggling functions programmer )
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