Overtime

At work today, I got my shift changed. Unfortunately, I've been working another job behind my boss's back. My new shift ends exactly when other job starts. I have some explaining to do. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I purchased delicious cookies from the Girl Scouts for the office. After, I asked my coworkers for some money. All of them will "get back to me." I'm never getting paid for that Mint, am I? I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I attempted- emphasis on "attempted"- to update my contacts file. Turns out that our company loves Windows a lot. Enough to make my job impossible. They won't even let me use my own Mac. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my IT "upgraded" Adobe. Now the Acrobat tools I need to do my job no longer work. When I asked why, they said they thought those tools might be misused. Know what's also a misuse of company time? People not doing their jobs. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, our owner in California wanted to order a banner for our New Hampshire store. He wanted to use "their place in Cali" to save $15. Of course, shipping will cancel that out. And it will arrive 2 days late. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I really wished we had a mailroom. I went to the post office to mail our packages. It took twenty minutes. Not because of lines, but because of idiot postal workers. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, one of our company's London bigwigs flew in. I was supposed to give him the downlow on the Boston office. Instead, I spent the entire time trying to find him a place to watch "Football" in the city. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was trying to memorize my lines for a commercial I booked. I worked really hard to get all the dialogue down perfectly. Then, on set, the director told me: all my lines are going to be in voiceover, not dialogue. I could have just read them off the page. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I tied my hair back into a ponytail for work before teaching. It kept coming undone, so I used a rubber band to hold it. Later, I was reprimanded for misusing school supplies. By the janitor. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, we figured out we needed to have more structure. But to do that, we would have to define what structure is and how we would like it. Try being hired to write a 200 pags essay, only to discover you have to invent paper first. Then ink. Then the pen. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I created a Powerpoint presentation for a meeting. It took a while and has over 200 slides. Guess what our company doesn't have? A projector. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was a little ashamed. See, I have a bowel problem. And I can never judge when it will happen. I left for my break at 4:00. I returned at 5:15. I'm dumbemployed.