At work today, I ran a beer tasting for a group of post-grads. They were pretty orderly, except for one. He started seeing if he could shotgun beers. The beers were all bottled. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was cleaning pools- hopefully summer ends soon. I found a pile of leaves in the middle of the pool. No big deal. Then I saw that it was covering up a dead squirrel. I fished it out. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I got a letter back that I had sent to a company called Shirt Incorporated. I guess I made a typo. I left out the first R. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was paying my home power bill at work. My boss saw me on the computer, but he didn't get mad. "You pay our power too?" he asked. "Good, I was hoping that somebody did it." Now I'm waiting for the lights to go off. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I called a restaurant to order a gift card for a client. She asked me for the "To" and "From." I said, "To Tom, from Citi" (the bank). She asked for my last name, and I gave it, and I asked her if she needed my first name too. She replied, "It's Citi. Right?" I'm dumbemployed.