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Just Dumb

At work today, I got gum stuck in my hair. People recommended peanut butter, vinegar, shampoo, and even glue. These are my colleagues. I just cut the gum out. I'm dumbmeployed.

by anonymous on 01/20/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( gum stuck hair )

At work today, Jan the pastry chef showed up late. I asked her why. "Uh, I had to get frosting," she said. Then, ten minutes later, she said she had to leave to buy frosting. Get your alibis straight, Jan. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/18/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( pastries frosting alibi )

At work today, I streamed an episode of "The Sopranos" on my computer. My cubicle mate complained to my boss- not that I was watching TV, but that I used headphones instead of speakers. My boss agreed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/17/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( sopranos tv speakers )

At work today, I was really sore from a soccer game the night before. I stretched in between serving customers. As I touched my toes, my coworker snuck behind me. "Let's see if we can do that together." Yuck. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/16/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( coworker soccer stretching )

At work today, I got 300 new envelopes for a mailing I have to do. I specifically asked for self stick. Instead, the supplies guy handed me an envelope sponge and a note. "These are self stick," he said. "Stick them. Yourself." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/15/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( envelopes stick sponge )

At work today, I offered to replace the milk bag (at restaurants, milk comes in a bag). What I didn't realize was that it was right next to the knives. Have you ever speared a milk bag? I feel like I killed a cow. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/14/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( milk milk bags restaurant )

At work today, I sauntered into the break room on a sugar high. Then I saw the floor- it was covered in spilt Diet Coke. The can lay under the counter, pierced, like a corpse. Somehow, I got to clean it all up. I'm dumbemployed.

by kagayakiorenji on 01/12/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( diet coke spill break room )

At work today, I thought I had an order for two double cheeseburgers. I served the customers that and they seemed happy. Only when I delivered the bill did they tell me that they'd actually wanted two grilled cheese sandwiches. Which we don't serve. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/11/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( grilled cheese cheeseburger double cheeseburger )

At work today, I made some headhunting calls for our firm. You'd think people would leap on a job opportunity in this economy. Instead, I got yelled at so loud that my cubicle neighbor heard it through the receiver. I'm dumbemployed.

by zarake on 01/10/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( headhunter calls yelling )

At work today, I drove 2.5 hours to make a delivery of a single envelope. I got there and received a signature, only to find out later that they'd just decided to email the document. Then I drove 2.5 hours back. I'm dumbemployed.

by taylorriley on 01/08/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( drove envelope documents )

At work today, we were setting up the cross town store. Apparently, there are some downgrades. The "Home Appliance" section is now a shelf full of batteries and some Elmer's Glue. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/07/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( home appliances battery glue )

At work today, I printed out my resume at my work computer. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was sending 100 copies to the office copier. Whoops. I may need my resume sooner than I thought. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/06/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( resume computer copy )
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