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At work today, I walked in on two of my coworkers in the cooler. They were smoking something slightly illegal. Later, I heard two old ladies talking. "I love the food here," one said. "It always smells so natural." The other clapped and shouted. "I know. Like the country!" I'm dumbemployed.

by ua_zaebalo on 02/26/15 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cooler pot old people )

At work today, my boss decided to give everyone t-shirts with our company's name and slogan on them. Except I didn't get one. I asked him why, and he told me that he assumed I was an XXL. They had to special order it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/26/15 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( t-shrit xxl special order )

At work today, my coworker came up to my cubicle angry. "Were you at work this weekend?" I told her I was, just to finish up some things. "That's not good," she said. I asked her why- she said it wasn't good because I needed to stay late tonight, too. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/26/15 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( cubicles weekend i don't get paid enough for this shizzle )

At work today, I was forced to dress up as the company mascot and wave on the street. Let's just say that the company mascot is fat, furry, and very very hot. And let's also say that a surprising number of toddlers come up to you, smile, and punch you in the crotch. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/26/15 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( mascot furry kids )

At work today, I was repairing a guy's laptop. I opened it and noticed the back of it had three bumper stickers taped on. They were all for different political parties. The problem? His Ron Paul sticker was blocking his computer's fan. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/26/15 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( laptop computer ron paul )

At work today, I was tasked with picking up my boss's coffee. She asked to have Raw Sugar, cream packets, Splenda, Sweet & Low, and half and half brought with it. I showed up exhausted with a whole cart of stuff. She took the coffee and just drank it black. I'm dumbemployed.

by walk_in_memphis on 02/25/15 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( coffee sugar splenda )

At work today, my boss came to my desk and told me to clear off all my stuff. I thought I was fired and started crying. "Don't worry," he said. "We're just moving you across the hall." I was relieved and told him I thought I'd been fired. "No," he said. "It's just a demotion." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/25/15 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( crying moving demotion )

At work today, I stumbled in very hungover. The only problem is that I work in a mini golf course. In addition to the mini golf course, we have batting cages. I had an eight hour shift right next to them. No water breaks. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/25/15 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( mini golf batting cages hungover )

At work today, I was studying for the bar (yes, it is work). I thought that I’d done enough and turned to a person next to me who was studying too. I asked him when he’d gotten there. He said three. It was four PM. I laughed. Then he explained he meant three AM. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/25/15 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( studying law all nighter )

At work today, I asked a newbie coworker to put some returned DVDs into the system. He did fine for a half hour, but then hit a snag. I asked him what was wrong. "I just realized I logged Rocky II twice." I told him he hadn't- we actually have multiple copies of the same movie. I'm dumbemployed.

by smile772 on 02/25/15 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( dvds rocky videostore )

At work today, my boss told me I was the best personal assistant he'd ever had. I was so proud. Then he smiled and told me I needed to take a pay cut, due to the economy. We were driving in his Mercedes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/24/15 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( personal assistant pay cut mercedes )

At work today, a parent dropped off her three year old son (a really cute blonde kid who always calls me auntie). The mom looked really happy, and I asked her how she was. "I'm great!" she shouted. "It's time to get crunk!" Yes, she said crunk. I'm dumbemployed.

by kacidoll on 02/24/15 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( daycare parents kids )
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