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At work today, I finally cleaned off my computer monitor using tissues from the bathroom. My monitor turned out to be pretty dirty. I had to make 3 trips for more tissues. And it still looks fuzzy. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/30/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( computer monitor cleaning tissues )

At work today, my friend called my cell phone at work. I couldn't answer because I was on the clock. That didn't stop him from calling 7 more times. The emergency? He wanted to ask if I'd ever seen "Con Air." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/29/14 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cell phone con air call )

At work today, corporate instituted a fun new policy for all the restaurants in our chain. Every half hour, we do a country western dance. In the middle of the restaurant. And we have to learn the right steps. I'm dumbemployed.

by oakeygurl on 07/29/14 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( corporate policy restaurant )

At work today, I thought I might start reorganizing the company photo albums. Turns out we have more photos than I thought. Who knows why somebody took 208 photos at the 1997 company picnic. But they did- and now I'm filing it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/29/14 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( photo albums 1997 company picnic )

At work today, I really, really needed to cut my nails. I'm a cashier, and they're gross. But the only scissors were in the break room. I was all alone and cut quickly. Then I saw three of my coworkers watching me from the doorway. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/29/14 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( cut scissors fingernails )

At work today, I prayed that they'd finally turn on the heat. They realized it was a problem- and handed all of us company branded blankets. Somehow, it's not the same. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/29/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( heat blankets cold )

At work today, I was working the library front desk. A cute kid came up and asked for a library card. I asked if his mommy or daddy was around to help. He frowned. "They went away." At first, I was horrified. But then I realized they were just looking at the used book pile. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/28/14 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( library librarian kids )

At work today, I told my boss I'd be a couple of minutes late from lunch due to a haircut. "I wouldn't know what that's like," he said. He's bald- and, apparently, pretty sensitive about it. I crept away without saying anything. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/28/14 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( haircut bald sensitive )

At work today, I was trying to sell a guy a nice pool table. I asked if he wanted green or red felt. "How about something with stripes?" Needless to say, he didn't turn out to be in the market for a $3,000 table. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/28/14 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( pool table stripes felt )

At work today, I was showing a condo to a middle aged couple. The guy liked it, but the woman didn't seem too excited. "I really don't like that painting," she said. Why does no one understand that the house doesn't come with decorations? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/28/14 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( condo decorations painting )

At work today, I wrote a "Happy Anniversary" card for one of my employees. I intended it for his fifth anniversary with the company. But he came into my office crying. "Me and Betty are getting a divorce," he said. Whoops. Bad choice of words. I'm dumbemployed.

by sweet_fire_fly on 07/28/14 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( happy anniversary fifth anniversary divorce )

At work today, I approached my job with a new sense of certainty. I will do what I want, when I want, how I want to do it. My first order of business? A long nap on the reception area couch. I think my new certainty is that I'll be fired soon. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 07/27/14 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( certainty nap receptionist )
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