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At work today, I was put in charge of landscaping our front area. Not the best idea. My degree is in cosmetology. Not..uh...landscapology. I can't put makeup on a plant. Or can I? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/22/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( landscaping cosmetology makeup )

At work today, even the pigeons seemed like they were a little lazy. Normally, they peck at the bread I throw on the ground furiously. Today? They lay there waiting for me to throw the pieces again, but closer. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/22/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( pigeons lazy bread )

At work today, I planned on telling every customer what I really thought of all the clothes they tried on. That wasn't the best idea. Here's a tip- don't tell a millionaire's wife a dress isn't good for her thighs. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/22/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( clothes millionaire dressing room )

At work today, I gave a customer advice on his investment portfolio. "Sell!" he shouted at me. "Sir," I said patiently, "you have to buy something first." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/22/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( portfolio selling buy )

At work today, my boss actually tied a sweater around his shirt. Sure, it would always be pretentious, but maybe a little sophisticated. Except it wasn't a sweater. It was a Packers hoodie. Classy, boss. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/21/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( sweater hoodies packers )

At work today, I came in and asked my boss if I could come in next weekend and wear jeans. He deliberated, but then said yes. I jumped up and down. Then I realized I'm still working on the weekend. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/21/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( jeans work weekend )

At work today, I stood in line waiting to punch my timecard. Naturally, Bernie got confused again and put his timecard in upside down. It would be an understandable mistake. Except this is the seventh time it's happened this month. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/21/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( timecard bernie dumb )

At work today, my mom applied for a job at our big box store. The recession has gotten that bad. The only thing that worries me is that she'll be overqualified to push carts. She has a PhD. Of course, I have my Masters. I'm dumbemployed.

by solorien on 04/21/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( big box recession phd )

At work today, I practiced giving a Powerpoint presentation. I might have a lot more work to do. My presentation is supposed to last half an hour. My practice run took me about two and a half minutes. The presentation is later this afternoon. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/20/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( powerpoint presentation time )

At work today, the birds outside wouldn't shut up. I'm all for a little chirping cheer. But these birds seemed like they were auditioning for a Disney movie. Does anyone have a slingshot? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/20/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( birds chirping slingshot )

At work today, I was sorting catalogs sent to our fast food restaurant. Restaurant supplies, food supplies, chain management letters- and adult film catalogs? I guess I really don't know what it takes to run an Arbys. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/20/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( arbys adult film catalogs )

At work today, I was asked to pick out a wine for our annual banquet. Except the recession has made my choices a little more limited. Somehow, a banquet bar with Franzia isn't very impressive. So I'm going with Carlo Rossi. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/20/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( wine recession banquet )
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