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At work today, my boss took me aside to inform me of a STRICT policy he was going to begin enforcing, requiring me to be in the office by 8am sharp (mind you, I have a 40 mile commute). He hasn't shown up before 9:30 for the past couple months (mind you, he has a 5 mile commute). I'm dumbemployed.

by officemonkey on 06/23/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( strict commute late )

At work today, two guys came in and ordered pretty impressive entrees. Then it turned out they had a two for one coupon. Well, I put it in and made the changes. Instead of tipping me for the full bill, they tipped me for the bill after the discount. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/23/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( restaurant coupon tips )

At work today, I had the longest babysitting shift with a really collicy baby. It was terrible and just nonstop crying. At 11, the mom and dad got back and asked if I could stay the night. They offered me 10 extra bucks. I did it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/23/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( babies babysitting overnight )

At work today, our computers kept going down, as well as the rest of the power in the building. Finally, somebody investigated the generator. It turns out the problem was a squirrel. He'd been barbecued and was still stuck in the works. At least we couldn't smell it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/23/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( generator dead squirrels barbecue )

At work today, nobody was on the job. Like, nobody. I don't know if it was a weird holiday or what. But we have ten registers. Three cashiers showed up. And I'm the only good one. I think I have carpal tunnel now. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( holiday understaffed cashiers )

At work today, I helped my boss by standing at the shredder machine to shred few papers. After that, he told me he needed three copies of them. I'm Dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( shredded copies copier )

At work today, I went for a long run before coming into the office. I showered and changed, but my hair was still wet. The guy in the cube next to me started joking that I hadn't showered. It would have been funny if half the people hadn't believed that he was telling the truth. I'm dumbemployed.

by rafael_ul on 06/22/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( run hair showering )

At work today, a grandma came in with her grandson. She wanted to buy him a videogame at the store. The weird thing is that when she asked for something for the kid's "Gameboy," he didn't correct her. So I think there's actually some 9 year old still stuck with a Gameboy. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/22/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( videogames grandma gameboy )

At work today, the weirdest noise kept coming from inside one of the offices. It was a gush of air, a grunt, and a squeak. I crept up to the window and saw through the slats of the blinds. My boss was doing pushups, and his polished dress shoes kept squeaking on the floor. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( pushups dress shoes grunting )

At work today, I was listening to Elton John while I worked at my desk. Fun, right? Well, I started singing aloud without even noticing. By the end of the day, everyone was calling me Elton. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( elton john singing loud )

At work today, the dreamy FedEx guy showed up again. He looks older than me, but he's still cute. I was so busy trying to flirt that I signed for the package without looking. Turns out it wasn't for our company. I spent all day figuring out how to correct the error. I'm dumbemployed.

by madequick on 06/21/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( fedex package wrong company )

At work today, everything seemed oddly blurry for most of the day. I figured it was allergies or something- the usual. When I got home, I noticed the cap was on my right contact lens. I'd forgotten to put it in. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/21/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( contacts blurry right eye closed )
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