At work today, I was gift wrapping for our customers. The average gift price was under 10 dollars. That's less than I spent on lunch. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I showed my wife my office. She took one look at my desk. "This is where you spend 11 hours a day?" She forgot 2 hours of that is spent in the commute. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was stuck selling golf clubs. Normally, it's a good gig. Not so much in the middle of winter. You can't golf in the snow. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I entered into salary negotiations with my boss. My position? A raise to keep up with inflation. His? A gift basket. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was refilling waters at our restaurant. Is it just me, or do people come in as dehydrated as if they'd just run a marathon? I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was selling blinds in our window treatment store. A woman came in. "I need blinds for my living room windows." I asked her the size. She stared at my cockeyed. "Isn't that your job?" I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was greeting people at our Wal-Mart. Then my supervisor called me in to tell me I'm being demoted. Apparently, I'm not old enough for the job. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I returned something that I bought at our store. So, in effect, I became my own customer. And I don't think I'm ever shopping here again. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was supposed to give a speech for having a great sales quarter. The only problem is that my boss spent so long introducing me that I only had one minute to speak. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I locked up for the night. Stuck inside the lock? A piece of chewed up bubble gum. Thanks kid. The key now is bright pink. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I wore two sets of socks to try and keep warm while I was outside monitoring the Garden section of our hardware store. By the time I finished, the outer set was soaked with snow. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, sharing turned out not to be caring. I watched my coworker place his lips almost directly on the water fountain. Then he coughed. I'm not drinking again. I'm dumbemployed.