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At work today, I was told to clean the bottoms of all our tables. What a job. In addition to the usual pieces of gum stuck to the bottom, I also found some other stuff: a cable bill, a lollipop, and a receipt. And also a condom. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/21/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( gum tables restaurant )

At work today, I got a phone call. I telecommute, but I didn't recognize the number. I picked up and shouted "I don't need no telemarketing scumbags!" Someone breathed on the line. "Jenny," my boss said. "It's Tony. I'm calling from my cell phone." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/21/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( teleconference teleconference cell phones )

At work today, I was super bored and decided to see how high I could stack business cards from the business card goldfish bowl. I pulled them out and saw the same card over and over- one guy had put fifty of his cards in the bowl. The prize? A single free jelly donut. I’m dumbemployed.

by jobnuta_myrosja on 02/21/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( business cards donuts goldfish bowl )

At work today, we started giving rock climbing classes to kids. At the end of a lesson, a parent walked up to me. "I want a refund." I asked her why. She pointed at the climbing wall. "These aren't even real rocks!" She was serious. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/21/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( rock climbing parents gym )

At work today, I showed up early to restock some dresses. I heard a noise coming from the front of the store and saw some shadows. When I got there, it turned out that Ned was standing next to a mannequin. He was petting its hair over and over. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/20/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( dresses clothes mannequin )

At work today, my boss actually quit his job. He made a big scene. At first we were all scared. Then he yelled "And I'm taking my team with me!" We all stared at our computer screens until he was escorted out the building. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/20/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( quitting computer building )

At work today, I took out my old school punch card and wanted to see what would happen if I put it in upside down. Instead of just stamping the bottom half, it got stuck inside. I had to get my boss- who then had to call the company that makes the machine. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/20/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( punch card error stamping )

At work today, I tried to give my deodorant challenged coworker a message. I kept asking him if something smelled a little funny every half hour. He shrugged each time. Later, in the hall, I caught him talking. “Yeah,” he said. “I think Lindsay has a retarded nose.” I’m dumbemployed.

by walkwithalimp on 02/20/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( deoderant nose funny )

At work today, I was making subs par usual. Well, I had one guy come up and just stare at me. "You're pretty," he said. "Can I get you anything, sir?" He just kept staring. I made him a pastrami in hopes he'd have a heart attack. He accepted and paid for it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/19/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( sandwiches creep pastrami )

At work today, I concluded an experiment with this coffee shop customer that has a crush on me. Every day, I switch whether I say “I’ll give you room for cream,” or “No room for cream?” No matter what I say, he agrees with me every time. I’ll have to offer him ketchup next time. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/19/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( coffee shop cream ketchup )

At work today, my boss brought along Oreos. The first problem? No milk. The second problem? He likes to smile a lot. I stared at his crumb filled teeth the entire day. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/19/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( oreos teeth smiling )

At work today, I decided to play hookey. I skipped a lunch meeting and took a long walk around the lake. When I got back, the office was empty. Weird. I stayed until 6 and got a text from a coworker. Apparently, at the lunch meeting, our boss had given us the day off. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/19/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( playing hookey meeting text )
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