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At work today, I began my shift without coffee and spent the whole time trying to find a pot. Because of "budgetary cuts," apparently we aren't refilling the coffee machine. That's why the entire building is walking around looking like zombies. That won't help sales.  I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/25/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( coffee budget zombies )

At work today, I had to drive home because I'd forgotten to turn off my oven. When I got back, there were two customers waiting at my checkout lane. I realized that I'd left the light on my stand. Even worse, nobody had walked over to turn it off.

by anonymous on 03/25/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( oven driving checkout )

At work today, I think I literally took ten smoke breaks. Yeah, I'm totally an addict. I came back from one and found my boss  standing in the doorway, looking angry. I thought I was in trouble until he spoke. "Damn it," he said, "I wish I could smoke again." I'm dumbemployed.

by valaannauru on 03/25/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( smoking cigarette depressing )

At work today, I started to try and touch the tip of my tongue to my nose. I found that if I put honey on the end of my nose, I actually wanted to touch it more. Weird, right? That part's fine. The bad part is I work in mortgages. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/25/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tongue honey mortgages )

At work today, I had to emcee an open mic. Yes, I know, that in itself is bad enough to be a story. But the even worse thing is that two of the people who signed up sang the exact same song. Wonderwall, by Oasis. And I listened. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/24/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( oasis wonderwall emcee )

At work today, we had a family come in to pick out a casket. I always try to be as sensitive as possible to people getting funerals. These people, however, didn't seem to care. The reason? They'd struck gold with the inheritance. That doesn't mean they got a nice casket though. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/24/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( casket funeral inheritance )

At work today, I came in at about 9AM to see a bunch of balloons hanging around the office. My supervisor was sitting at his desk smiling. I asked him why there were so many balloons, and he said we were celebrating being the least wasteful branch. With 200 balloons. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/24/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( balloons wasteful environmentally unsafe )

At work today, I spent almost my entire shift watching TV waiting for a call. I'm a fireman. The weird thing is that "Backdraft" and "Rescue Me" were both on TV today. It's like I got my work done by watching other people do it. I'm dumbemployed.

by tbe_ooc on 03/24/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( tv backdraft fireman )

At work today, we announced the teams for the annual basketball tournament. Even though it's "just for fun", everyone takes it really seriously. My team includes two people over 300 pounds. And they aren't tall. We're going to have to practice. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/23/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( basketball team overweight )

At work today, I decided I was sick of buying lunch, so I put it in the refrigerator. I work through morning. When I got my lunch out, there was Kool-Aid spilled all over it. I don't know who drinks Kool-Aid in our office, but I do know my bologna tasted like Black Cherry Pop. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/23/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( refrigerator kool-aid bologna )

At work today, I watched while my coworker negotiated with a client. We sell air conditioning supplies and parts to restaurants and stores. Exciting! Anyway, to close the deal, he decided to throw in a freebie: a $25 Chilis gift card. That closed a $5,000 order. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/23/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (14) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( negotiating restaurant chilis )

At work today, I finally met our boss's girlfriend. If you could call her that. Our boss is in his forties, and this girl is still in college. That would be fine- if she were at least attractive or smart. I had to remind her of the name of our company. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/23/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( girlfriend college ugly )
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