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At work today, I showed up a little hungover (Note to self: Tequla=bad). Anyway, I found out that just for today, I was being promoted to shift manager. I work in construction. It was 87 degrees today and I don't have a water bottle. I'm dumbemployed.

by rabbitorahabbit on 01/21/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( tequila construction water )

At work today, I received three calls from people who were really mad about my company's phone service. Two of them spent half the call asking if I was outsourced (I work in the US). The weird part? They both had Indian last names. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/21/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( telemarketers outsourcing india )

At work today, I prepared 100 letters to mail to potential clients. I'm an intern, so I asked my supervisor if I should send them out. "Did you sign them?" he asked me. I said I didn't because they weren't in my name. "Forge it," he said. Now I have to do it over. I'm dumbemployed.

by workcrafts on 01/21/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( letters intern i am going to forge my resume instead and quit this job )

At work today, I noticed that the store was really empty. I was zoning all the candy bars when my coworker finally showed up. "Why is it so quiet today?" I asked her. She frowned. "Somebody got murdered outside last night." I thought the chalk drawing was a practical joke. I'm dumbemployed.

by gemini_l on 01/21/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( candy grocery murder )

At work today, I managed to cover for a coworker who was running almost twenty minutes late. I yelled at her when she came in. "What's wrong with you!" I shouted. "Daylight savings," she said. Daylight savings was more than a month ago. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/20/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( daylight savings late lies )

At work today, I learned that we're supposed to get a passport and pay for it ourselves. I asked HR why, and they said it's because every employee needs to be ready for an opportunity to "network" abroad. I work in the mail room. A passport costs $100. I'm dumbemployed.

by n0thing_less on 01/20/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( hr corporate networking )

At work today, I got stuck sweeping up clients' hair when I'm only supposed to cut it. I'd finally amassed a mountain of hair when a little kid left his chair. He went to the cleanest part of the floor and shook his head as hard as he could. I picked my broom up again. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/20/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( barber hair cleaning )

At work today, I got laid off (don't cry for me, I'll live). I asked my boss why. He said we don't have enough sales and until things picked up, they had to cut costs. I'm their only sales person and they fired me. I'm dumbemployed.

by aaantoinette on 01/20/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( downsizing sales that darn economy )

At work today, I got in trouble. We were robbed this morning- nothing bad, but I closed last night. I'd asked my friend Robbie to get the back door. Apparently, he didn't know that meant to lock it too. I got yelled at for twenty minutes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/19/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( robbed lock yelling )

At work today, I fell asleep at my desk (I work at a hotel). I felt something at my ear, but I thought it was just a breeze. Then I looked up. The doorman, Jeffrey, was holding an umbrella tip against my ear and grinning. He's 67. I'm dumbemployed.

by jml_fan on 01/19/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( hotel clerk umbrella )

At work today, I dropped off the following letters at a single apartment: A notice from AARP, a professional magazine for Dentists, and a copy of Hustler. The resident is a woman named Delores. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/19/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( mailman postal aarp )

At work today, I decided to go in the basement for the first time. I'd never been in there before. When I was inside, I found a giant cardboard cutout of my boss holding a basketball and gritting his teeth. He's an accountant. I ran back upstairs. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/19/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( inventory basketball accountants )
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