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At work today, an anxious tremor began to come over me. I was finally going to ask out Darlene, the receptionist who I love. Well, I will have to wait a little longer. She came in today with her partner. Who's a girl. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/18/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( darlene receptionist anxious )

At work today, my shoes kept getting untied and I got made fun of a lot. I double knotted them to show all those jerks! Then I realized I'd tied my shoes together. I let them mock me, now. I'm dumbemployed.

by severals on 11/18/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( shoes laces tied )

At work today, we were taking pictures of the office for the company newsletter. I managed to take about forty when I decided to check how it had gone. Turns out I had taken forty pictures. But I had the lens cap on. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/18/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( newsletter pictures lens cap )

At work today, my cubicle neighbor kept hitting the wall between us. I coughed a couple of times to try and get him to stop. He didn't. I said his name. He kept going. I stood up and looked over the wall. He wasn't hitting his hand. He was hitting his head. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/18/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( cubicles head hitting )

At work today, I experienced my first day on the job with crutches. My union guarantees me work, and I go in because I have a family. Turns out the job is a little harder than I thought. I'm a construction worker. With two broke legs. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/17/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (0) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( union crutches legs )

At work today, I saw a girl leave her two year old daughter in the car as she came into the store. I walked up to her and told her she needed to bring the girl in. "Oh no," the woman said. "I don't want to cause any trouble." I had to break the girl out myself. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/17/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( car daughter locked )

At work today, I was at the grocery introducing some older customers to Indian food. One old man walked over slowly and tapped me on the shoulder. "Don't Indians eat buffalo?" he asked. I didn't have the heart to tell him they didn't. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/17/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( indian food buffalo old people )

At work today, I left something in the microwave about a minute too long because I was on a sales call. When I got to the kitchen, my boss was standing over my plate, glaring. "You don't care about this company," he said. I just closed a 30,000 dollar sale. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/17/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( sales microwave kitchen )

At work today, I was riding in the elevator and my boss saw the Shampoo I bought. She started making the "Oh" noises like in Herbal Essence commercials. I told her my Shampoo was actually a different brand than the commercials. "What commercials?" she asked. I'm dumbemployed.

by madmax2000 on 11/16/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( shampoo herbal essence commercials )

At work today, I was trying to stay hydrated. Well, I ended up peeing a lot too, as you might guess. That resulted in my going to the bathroom about five times. By the end of the day, I was accused of having a drug habit. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/16/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( drugs bathroom hydrated )

At work today, I looked outside because I heard some loud music. About ten kids were walking in a line, playing hip hop from boom boxes held up to their ears. It was like time traveling. I wish I could have time traveled to the end of work and joined them. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/16/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( boom box eighties loud )

At work today, I felt like I was talking to an eight year old. Every time I said something about our distribution plan, he said "Why?" It was why, why, why all day. I wasn't talking to an eight year old though. He's our regional supervisor and makes 30k more than me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 11/16/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( distributors regional why )
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