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At work today, a creeper was watching me from the corner. That's what coffee shops are like. He kept trying to talk to me by ordering more and more coffee. By the end of my shift he was totally wired. But he was also without a date. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/28/15 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( creepert coffee shop wired )

At work today, the door to my boss's office was closed all day. We were curious what he was doing there, and at lunch, my friend Jose snuck in. He was busy alright. He'd been assembling a high chair for his toddler. I'm dumbemployed.

by packratshop on 04/27/15 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( office high chair assembly )

At work today, I had the glorious job of handing out "Hello" nametags. Soon though, we ran out and I had to start making my own by handwriting them. Hello carpal tunnel syndrome. Nice to meet you. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/27/15 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( nametags carpal tunnel hello )

At work today, we had a cheese platter catered for an important meeting with some board directors. Not a good idea at all. Afterward, we all shook hands vigorously, and I got to experience some of the worst breath I've ever smelled. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/27/15 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( cheese breath smelling )

At work today, this little kid was playing by all the dishes. Crash. I asked his mom what had happened and how they'd pay for it. "My son didn't do it," she shouted. "Uh, that guy did!" She was pointing to a man hobbled over a walker. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/27/15 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( crash dishes walker )

At work today, my boss got everyone excited saying that a celebrity was going to be coming into our store to by a sound system. Well, he showed up. Let's just say that he wasn't that famous. In fact, compared to him, Erik Estrada is a superstar. At least he bought something. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/27/15 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( celebrity erik estrada sound system )

At work today, I decided to spend the entire time writing haikus about my company. I was doing great until I realized the full name of the company is different than what I was using. The full name, of course, is more than seven syllables. I work for the un-haikuable. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/26/15 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( haikus syllables procrastinating )

At work today, I took on an extra shift because I'm in summer school and- hey- it's just summer school. Well, at like four PM I got an email that our professor decided to "have a little fun" and assign an overnight paper. I'll be tending bar when I should be writing. I'm dumbemployed.

by namir_ff on 04/26/15 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( summer school professor bar )

At work today, nobody was in a good mood. I don't know why, but that's just how it was. Go figure. Anyway, I tried to brighten them up with a joke. Later on I got an email. Apparently my joke was inappropriate because I'd said the word "hell." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/26/15 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( mood joke hell )

At work today, I got something in my eye but still had to tell customers what theatre their movie was in. So I was blinking and talking. As one guy walked away, I heard him tell his young son to feel sorry for the "poor retarded woman" taking tickets. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/26/15 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( eye theatre blinking )

At work today, everyone was supposed to use a new format for e-mail signatures. Who knows why. We received an ultimatum via email at about 3:00 PM. Naturally, my boss wasn't using the new format. Cool. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/26/15 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( email ultimatum signatures )

At work today, I followed my coworker on his lunch break. I followed him to the parking lot. He had a bottle of whiskey in his car, but instead of drinking from it, he poured a couple of drops onto his fingers, splashed them under his eyes, and went back inside. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 04/25/15 at 9:04pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( whiskey drinking splashing )
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