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At work today, the newest version of our corporate enterprise software came out. It turns out it's not the best stuff. And it's all in French. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/23/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( enterprise software french translate )

At work today, I tackled the corporate mission statement. After an hour of revising a single, poetic sentence, I had an epiphany- our mission is to waste my time. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/23/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( corporate mission statement wasteful )

At work today, we got a call for an emergency in a senior home. We rushed there. Who knew that a lost pair of dentures required paramedics? Oh wait. It doesn't. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/23/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( paramedic emergency dentures )

At work today, I twittered from my cell phone in the bathroom because upper management finally noticed I twitter all day on my work computer. We're not allowed to use cell phones at our desks either. Yet I've always done all my work, quickly and well. I'm dumbemployed.

by CelestialAxis on 05/23/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( bathroom twitter cell phones )

At work today, as usual, the boss came in my office as I was leaving. It was Friday and I had to deposit my day-late paycheck. He said I had 3 minutes left. He then proceeded yet again to give me a lecture on how I should use my personal iPhone that he doesn't pay for. I'm dumbemployed.

by geneaholic on 05/22/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( iphone paycheck lecture )

At work today, I had to go through an HR Management firm's brochure that compared their work to Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man, Rodin's The Thinker and various Greek gods and heroes. I'm dumbemployed.

by LennyRay on 05/22/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( brochure greek gods heroes )

At work today, I got called over to the other building to give someone access to one of our IT system. They didn't tell me what they wanted until I got there. I could have done it from my office and not got rained on. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/22/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( it system call rain )

At work today, some people I know were going to a restaurant after work. Before I left for the day, I cleaned the bathrooms. I skipped the restaurant- I'd lost my appetite. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/22/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( restaurant bathrooms appetite )

At work today, we begged for a new lease in our record store's current location. No dice. Now it's going to become a parking lot. There are three on the block already. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/21/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( lease parking lot record store )

At work today, my shoes were untied. I bent over on the store floor to tie them, and when I looked up, a customer was looking down. "Sleeping on the job," he said. "An American tragedy." I stood up and walked away. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/21/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( shoes untied sleeping )

At work today, a client of ours hired us for a second job. They commended the "great work" we'd done on the first. One detail. We haven't started the first job yet. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/21/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( client second great work )

At work today, we all dressed up in the football jerseys of our favorite team. My boss wore a soccer jersey. "It's football in England," he said snobbishly. Except the team's jersey he wore plays in Spain. I'm dumbemployed.

by taylor_blast on 05/21/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( spain football soccer )
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