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At work today, something went right. That's a first. I got a promotion. The bad part is that all my coworkers got fired. Now I'm promoted and friendless. I'm dumbemployed.

by gabid123 on 06/28/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( promotion fired coworkers )

At work today, I was taking a cigarette break outside when a customer I'd just spoken to sidled beside me and lit up. I said hey. "I'm sorry," he said. "Do I know you?" We smoked together, in silence, for five interminable minutes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/28/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( cigarette break recognize )

At work today, I was introduced to a new head in our department. I told him I was chief of sales. "Actually," he said, "I'm chief of sales. You're VP now." Nobody'd told me about that. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/28/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( sales vp demotion )

At work today, I was supposed to meet with my boss in a conference room. I was kicked out of the first, second, and third one by more senior people. Then the meeting was canceled. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/28/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( conference room kicked out canceled )

At work today, the new guy decided he was going to "really get his job on track." Apparently, that means forcing me to sync his email, show him how to online bank, and hooking up a new mouse. Did I mention he also wanted me to teach him how to use Google? I'm not even in IT. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/27/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( it computers new guy )

At work today, I wore a special pantsuit into work- my sister gave it to me for my birthday. I got a few compliments. Then, I ripped the seat. Now I have to stay in my chair until everyone leaves so I can walk out of the office without being embarrassed. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/27/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( pantsuit ripped embarrassed )

At work today, I was showing a group of guys an apartment. One of them seemed a little lost. I asked him if he had questions. He sighed and asked if there'd ever been a death in the house, because he was getting a bad vibe. I can explain mold or bad water pressure. But ghosts? I'm dumbemployed.

by oakcat on 06/27/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( ghosts apartment death )

At work today, we changed our procedure to add extra copies of orders. Now we have a yellow carbon, a pink secondary, and a blue "reserve copy". You'd think our parts orders were nuclear launch codes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/27/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( copies carbon orders )

At work today, they told me we had a plate up for 33 people. I went over to look at the BEOs (Banquet Event Orders). It said there was a buffet for 33 people. I told everybody that the order was a buffet. About an hour later, they proceeded to plate up the food. I'm dumbemployed.

by hbk134 on 06/26/16 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( beos banquet buffet )

At work today, I emailed a source who is apparently one of the top ranchers in Wyoming. I asked him for a phone number, expecting a landline. He gave me his Skype- and was mad I stereotyped him. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/26/16 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( source rancher skype )

At work today, the wifi at our coffeeshop broke down. I swear, if people in third world countries got as mad as my customers get about broken wifi, there would be no dictatorships. I was nearly killed today. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/26/16 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( wifi coffee shop broken )

At work today, I was giving samples of specialty tea at the mall. One customer always takes all my samples and comes back a half hour later. My boss says I have to cut them off. I'm 16 and it's like I'm a bartender. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/26/16 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( tea free samples mall )
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