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At work today, a plastic surgery patient came into our office. I just work reception. I asked her if she was happy with the surgery. "I would be," she said, "if I could smile." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/15/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( plastic surgery smiling reception )

At work today, I caught my coworker picking his nose. Gross. When I called him on it, he had a defense. "I needed to adjust my brain," he said. "From the inside." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/15/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb

At work today, a young man plopped some condoms on my cash register. That's normal. Except by young, I mean about 11 years old. I said nothing. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/15/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( condoms cash register young )

At work today, I asked my boss's permission to go to the store and purchase lunch during my 15 minute break. His response? "As long as you buy me something too." His food would cost me an hour's worth of work. I'm dumbemployed.

by nanalindoll on 12/15/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( permission store lunch )

At work today, one of my ex-coworkers invited me to a BBQ. The weird part is that it's an ex-coworker who I fired. I don't know whether to feel sorry for him or guilty. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/14/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bbq fired guilty )

At work today, I tried to shake off a cold by hydrating. Now I have a cold and I have to ask for an extra bathroom break. I won't get any sympathy, I can tell. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/14/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( cold hydrated bathroom )

At work today, I laid out a full bag of Skittles on my desk and sorted them by color. It was the most I've done this week and I'll be darned if it wasn't beautiful. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/14/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( skittles desk full bag )

At work today, I blanked on an important client's name. "Thanks for your help Ron," I said. His name was Bob. I wasn't even close. I'm dumbemployed.

by imperium_rus on 12/14/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( client name ron )

At work today, I was shielding my eyes from the sun. My boss sidled up beside me. "Bring shades tomorrow," he said. "I'm not paying for eye hiding time." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/13/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( shielding eyes shades )

At work today, I wasn't hungover from work, but I was a little sleepy. How sleepy? Well, I had drool trickling down my chin. Which would have been fine if my lipstick hadn't left a trail right along with it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/13/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( hungover sleepy lipstick )

At work today, my balding coworker stood right next to me during a meeting for two hours. I did decide one thing. Bad breath is worse than being bald. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/13/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( bad breath bald )

At work today, we were told we could wear t-shirts into work. Of course, I was the only one who actually did. Does everyone else really think that t-shirts have collars? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 12/13/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( t-shirt dress code polo )
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