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At work today, my boss asked if I would go and buy a funny birthday card for his sister. I chose a card that said "On your b-day Sis, don't worry that you're turning into Mom...be grateful you're not turning into Dad!" I gave him the card. Later, I found out my boss's Dad is dead. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/03/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( birthday greeting cards dead )

At work today, my coworker was typing an email. "Is there an 'h' in 'water'?" he asked me. I asked if he meant in the molecular formula. "No," he said. "In the word 'water'." I'm dumbemployed.

by mlevindofske on 02/08/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( water h2o spelling )

At work today, I realized something. If I get completely baked before I come into the office, it might help team spirit. My mind might move as slowly as my decrepit, ancient coworkers. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/03/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( ancient baked marijuana )

At work today, we were invited to my boss's house for a cocktail party. Turns out it's an apartment that must be more than 5,000 square feet. In New York City. I think I need to ask for a raise. I'm dumbemployed.

by schnee_koenigin on 02/03/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( cocktail party apartment 5 000 )

At work today, I overheard a mother and her daughter talking in the dressing room. "Mom, it doesn't look good." "I don't care, you're wearing it." "He won't like it." "No boy wouldn't like that lingerie, honey." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/17/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( mother daughter lingerie )

At work today, I was working the front desk at our hotel and my boss came out front in a rage. "Damnit, I need somebody to cover for me tonight. I've got a fire to put out." I said OK, and he yelled at me again. "Get Johnson to do it!" I'm Johnson. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/21/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( rage front desk hotel )

At work today, I heard strange noises coming from the bathroom. I went to check and one guy came out of the stall. "Sorry," he said. "Mexican." He ran away. He was lying- thirty seconds later, the second guy came out. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/03/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bathroom noise mexican )

At work today, we finally got a shipment of pencils from inventory. Awesome. It took about a year. Now I have all the pencils I need. But thanks for not ordering a pencil sharpener. That'll take another three weeks. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/30/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( pencils shipment sharpener )

At work today, we had a special sample of zucchini bread we were handing out to all our customers. "What's zucchini?" an older woman asked. I told her it was a vegetable, but apparently that wasn't enough description. She accused me of making it up. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/20/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( zucchini vegetable description )

At work today, I told my boss he could probably find someone cheaper to do my current job, and that would enable me to get a promotion. He said there's not really room for a promotion. But he is genuinely interested in finding a less expensive replacement for me. I'm dumbemployed.

by mlevindofske on 02/07/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( promotion replacement cheaper )

At work today, all the people in the elevator seemed to be in a bad mood. I felt like I was being glared at or something. When I got out, I had the full story- they had been stuck for an hour before I got on. They probably thought I was the problem. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/02/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( elevator full story stuck )

At work today, I was elected commissioner of our company's fantasy football team. Ba-ba-ba-booyah! Anyway, I had already made the draft for the entire ordeal and was pretty excited. Then my boss announced that he was going to be in charge. I let him do it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/20/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (12) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( booyah fantasy football excited )
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