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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, this HR Nazi came over to all of our desks to make sure we were "being productive." I always work with headphones on because they help me focus. Apparently headphones are against company policy. Now it takes me two hours to do the work I used to do in one hour. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/24/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (14) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( headphones hr nazi company policy )

At work today, I got stuck inside the supply closet, literally. It was totally dark inside and I banged against the door for at least an hour.  I was about to quit when somebody opened the door- from behind me. It turned out I'd been facing the wrong direction. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/20/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (13) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( supply closet darkness directions )

At work today, I was informed that any employee who wanted a "voluntary layoff" could take one in order to travel the world or do whatever it is you do with a severance package. The problem is that our severance amounted to a month's pay. I couldn't travel to Tennessee with that. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/11/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( voluntary layoff layoffs severance )

At work today, during our company wide meeting, our HR lady presented a slide listing all employees that had been terminated/laid off this month. Two of those employees had not received the bad news yet. Those two people were in the front row of the meeting. I'm dumbemployed.

by typhoidtrish on 06/04/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( layoffs company wide hr )

At work today, I overhead two of my coworkers planning how they were going to "massively increase their salaries and booze money." My interest was piqued, so I walked a little closer. Turns out their plan was just to commit tax fraud. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/12/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (11) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( booze salary tax fraud )

At work today, I asked my boss's political opinions. He started telling me about his football predictions. "I said politics," I told him. "I know," he said, "but I'm talking about important stuff." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/05/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( politics football important )

At work today, I gave a museum tour to a bunch of parents and kids. I gave the usual spiel about dinosaurs and walked to the next exhibit. Then I heard a parent talking to her child. "Of course, dinosaurs aren't real," she said, "but wouldn't they be amazing?" Her son nodded. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/20/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( museum tours dinosaurs parents )

At work today, I watched the longest movie trailer available on Apple.com. Naturally, I rewatched it. Later that day, my boss talked to me about productivity. Not about the trailer though. He said that I was working too hard and making my coworkers look bad. I''m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/06/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( trailer productivity working too hard )

At work today, we brought in donuts for all the employees. We were eating them when a customer walked up and took one. I tried to take it back, but he said "the customer is always right." That''s not how it works. He still ate the donut. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/08/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (10) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( donuts customer is always right jerk )

At work today, I sold a cylinder. The person came back five minutes later saying he’d misheard and actually needed a colander. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/15/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( cylinders collanders spelling )

At work today, the third strike happened. I'm out. My immediate supervisor, who is pregnant, told me I couldn't understand her struggle. The problem? I had a baby a few months ago. It wasn't that she didn't care. It was that she'd already forgotten. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/02/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( pregnant baby forgotten )

At work today, I gave directions to a salesman who wanted to find our office. Naturally, I gave him the wrong directions. Only after that did my boss tell me that we actually wanted to meet the guy. I had to stay an extra hour because of it. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/14/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( sales directions office )
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