Top Dumbemployed

At work today at the bank, a customer kept hitting the buzzer at the drive thru window. I finished waiting on another customer (during the constant buzzing) and walked over to the drive thru to find a priest. "Thank you for your patience, Father." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, we found out corporate took some interesting cost cutting measures. The main one? Downgrading us from T1 internet to DSL. That wasn't the best idea. It now takes my 20 minutes to load my email. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was told I have "no credibility" at my new job of 4 months. I've worked in the same profession for the last 13 years, and for the world's largest and most successful company in my industry. Then I was asked to help interview 3 people. They'll probably replace me. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I literally begged for the vending machine guy to add Peanut M&Ms. He said "Miss, please get off your knees." Later, my boss told me if I wanted anything, he'd give it to me if I begged like that. In his private office. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, one of our waiters dropped a tray full of plates and glasses. I was using a wet rag to clean up the shards. My manager loomed over me. "Should we really be wasting that rag?" I think he wanted me to clean broken glass with my hands. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had someone try to return a defective item without a receipt. After explaining that I could not find where she had paid for the item in the last 9 months, she yelled back and said "It's not my fault you people didn't catch me!" I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, we were all supposed to write our "nicknames" for HR to have on file. I put "Hot Dawg" as a joke. They didn't tell us the nicknames would appear on our paychecks. It'll be fun cashing that. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my coworker was typing an email. "Is there an 'h' in 'water'?" he asked me. I asked if he meant in the molecular formula. "No," he said. "In the word 'water'." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, the plug right near my cubicle shorted out, so I had to use the plug in the cubicle behind me. At the time, it seemed like a good idea. But not to Charlotte, who tripped over the cord fifteen minutes later. I'll sign her cast when she gets back from the hospital. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, they held a meeting to get ideas on what kind of questions to include in an employee survey. So I just asked, "How in the world did we get all the way to the decision to have a survey and no one has asked for our input?" I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my coworker told me his personal plan for beating the recession. He is going to save all of his 20 oz. soda bottles and refill them with 2 liters. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I notified a user she had a virus on her computer. She wondered if that was why there was a big red x through her anti-virus icon. She had thought about mentioning it when she noticed it the other day...I'm dumbemployed.