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Top Dumbemployed

At work today, I got a phone call. I telecommute, but I didn't recognize the number. I picked up and shouted "I don't need no telemarketing scumbags!" Someone breathed on the line. "Jenny," my boss said. "It's Tony. I'm calling from my cell phone." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/21/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( teleconference teleconference cell phones )

At work today, I was super bored and decided to see how high I could stack business cards from the business card goldfish bowl. I pulled them out and saw the same card over and over- one guy had put fifty of his cards in the bowl. The prize? A single free jelly donut. I’m dumbemployed.

by jobnuta_myrosja on 02/21/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( business cards donuts goldfish bowl )

At work today, I tried to give my deodorant challenged coworker a message. I kept asking him if something smelled a little funny every half hour. He shrugged each time. Later, in the hall, I caught him talking. “Yeah,” he said. “I think Lindsay has a retarded nose.” I’m dumbemployed.

by walkwithalimp on 02/20/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( deoderant nose funny )

At work today, I was told to clean the bottoms of all our tables. What a job. In addition to the usual pieces of gum stuck to the bottom, I also found some other stuff: a cable bill, a lollipop, and a receipt. And also a condom. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/21/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( gum tables restaurant )

At work today, we all were stuck categorizing really old files. Some of them were so old they fell apart in our hands. I was handling one and dropped it. My coworker complained he inhaled asbestos because of it. He went home for the day- and I was stuck finishing the job. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/16/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( filing asbestos sick )

At work today, I was sorting through shirts donated to our resale store. My boss came up to me with a frown. "Hey, this shirt is too damaged to sell. The sleeve is too short." Of course, his own shirt had two spaghetti stains, a missing button, and no collar. I'm dumbemployed.

by im_willow2004 on 02/18/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( shirts stains rips )

At work today, I was assigned to frost a cake for a couple getting married. It took four hours. I went to take a bathroom break and found that the owner's son had smashed his hand right into the middle of the cake. Did he get in trouble? No. But I get to make the cake again. I'm dumbemployed.

by lactaids on 02/22/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( cakes frosting bathroom )

At work today, we had a customer come in asking to have guards assigned to his boat in our marina. He was sweating and panicking. "I need to protect against pirates!" he yelled. Our marina is on Lake Michigan. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/22/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( boat marina pirates )

At work today, I finished installing a pool for a young couple. I told them I was done and they asked me when I'd be installing the hot tub. They hadn't ordered a hot tub, but they wanted it done today. I wish I could drink on the job. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/22/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( pool hot tub booze )

At work today, I learned we're replacing all our hospital beds with new ones. The only problem is that nobody thought about what to do with the patients. So now we have 300 new hospital beds stacked in the stairwell. We don't know when they'll be moved. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/22/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( hospital patients beds )

At work today, I showed up early to restock some dresses. I heard a noise coming from the front of the store and saw some shadows. When I got there, it turned out that Ned was standing next to a mannequin. He was petting its hair over and over. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/20/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( dresses clothes mannequin )

At work today, I had a guy who wanted a "McHotDog." I told him we didn't have those. "I've had em," he yelled. I told him again. "I've had one!" he shouted. I eventually convinced him. "Fine," he said. "Give me a McPizza." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/17/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( hot dog yelling pizza )
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