Top Dumbemployed

At work today, I helped myself to some of the pastries in our waiting room. My coworker Denise saw me and scowled. "Those are for customers," she scolded. We didn't have a customer the entire day. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, they held a meeting to get ideas on what kind of questions to include in an employee survey. So I just asked, "How in the world did we get all the way to the decision to have a survey and no one has asked for our input?" I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I notified a user she had a virus on her computer. She wondered if that was why there was a big red x through her anti-virus icon. She had thought about mentioning it when she noticed it the other day...I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was busy prepping parts for something in my line. Busy like I usually am, two co workers told me to stop working. Why? So that they could hear each other talk about scrapbooking. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I asked these Southern tourists what kind of custard they'd like. "Oh, we'll take the ice cream flavored one," the woman said. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, a man is outside begging for money. I call management to come tell him to leave. They tell me I'm a leader and to do it myself. Later, when a customer is yelling at my cashier and says vulgar things to me, I tell him to leave. Now management says that's their job. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I had all of my stuff in my hands, my bag was on my back, and I was waiting on the elevator with the down arrow pressed. My coworker who also has her stuff together and is waiting on the elevator says, "So... You going home?" I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, someone asked me where the hall director lives. I told the guy that he lives downstairs. He continued to ask me his room number. Twice. After I told him specifically that it's the only room down there. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I got in a fight with my hubby over the phone. He kept calling and calling at my work number. I finally answered the phone and hollered a string of the worst swears I know. The line was silent. "Hi," a voice said. "This is your boss." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss was all in a flurry about a VIP breakfast at 8AM. He told me to make a fruit tray for about 20 people. I made it and wrapped it up. Hours later I go into the cooler and it's still there. I ask him why. He said he forgot it. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my USB adapted mouse for my laptop broke. I'm used to it, but I used the touch pad. By the end of the day, I had the nerdiest callous on my index finger that any man has ever had. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I finally finished the month long project of collecting newspaper clippings. I closed the folder and asked what I needed to do next. "Well, the newspaper comes out daily," they said. I opened the folder again. I'm dumbemployed.