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Weird Shift

At work today, we made a new rule that we'd monitor our company's Wikipedia page around the clock. Guess who's put in charge of it? I'm supposed to input all the positive propaganda about our company. As soon as it gets changed back, I have to do it again. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/03/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( wikipedia monitoring propaganda )

At work today, I decided to test if I could make my boss laugh during a meeting. I started by touching my nose constantly. After that didn't work, I waved my arms back and forth. Finally, I tried standing up and turning in a circle once. When that didn't work, I stopped. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 03/02/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( laughing nose civil disobedience isn't fun when nobody notices )

At work in the mall today, I was stationed next to the guy who plays piano in the atrium. I was a little confused when he played "Piano Man" for the second time. He ended up playing it four times that day. I talked to him afterwards- he was crying. Wow. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( mall piano depressing )

At work today, a new place opened next door to us in the mall. It's apparently Japanese inspired. You put your feet in a tiny vat of water and baby fish eat away at your skin. It's supposed to clean them. And people actually pay for it. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/21/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( japanese fish skin )

At work today, I went outside for a cigarette. We have an ash receptacle for people to put their cigarettes in. I was throwing my cigarette away when I realized it was stuck. I looked inside- somebody had jammed three Phillies best cigars in each of the holes. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/17/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cigarette ash phillies )

At work today, a little boy asked me for a lollipop. Since I'm a dental receptionist, that's a no no. I told him we had Trident gum and gave him a pack. He looked at it, opened it, and ate a piece. Then he spit it right back at me and walked away. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/14/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( lollipop reception dentist )

At work today, I was installing cable into a young woman's house. I finally went inside her place to hook up her TV when she opened the door. She let me in and I got started. Then I saw that the only furniture she had was a TV, a fold out chair, and a microwave on the floor. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/13/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cable tv furniture )

At work today, I was told to clean the bottoms of all our tables. What a job. In addition to the usual pieces of gum stuck to the bottom, I also found some other stuff: a cable bill, a lollipop, and a receipt. And also a condom. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/12/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( gum tables restaurant )

At work today, I showed up early to restock some dresses. I heard a noise coming from the front of the store and saw some shadows. When I got there, it turned out that Ned was standing next to a mannequin. He was petting its hair over and over. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/11/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( dresses clothes mannequin )

At work today, I tried to give my deodorant challenged coworker a message. I kept asking him if something smelled a little funny every half hour. He shrugged each time. Later, in the hall, I caught him talking. “Yeah,” he said. “I think Lindsay has a retarded nose.” I’m dumbemployed.

by walkwithalimp on 02/10/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( deoderant nose funny )

At work today, I was exploring the website for my company’s perks. They had all the usual stuff like gym memberships, corporate discounts, etc. But then I saw one perk under the “special” category- discount massages with “Ms. Ling’s Happy Escort Service.” I didn’t call. I’m dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 02/08/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( perks escorts discount )

At work today, I walked in on two of my coworkers in the cooler. They were smoking something slightly illegal. Later, I heard two old ladies talking. "I love the food here," one said. "It always smells so natural." The other clapped and shouted. "I know. Like the country!" I'm dumbemployed.

by ua_zaebalo on 02/05/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (9) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cooler pot old people )
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