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Weird Shift

At work today, my ex girlfriend came into the restaurant with her new boyfriend. Awesome. I walked by their table a couple of times, but she said nothing. It wasn't so bad though. Turns out the guy took her there to break up with her. I brought her tissues. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/07/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( breakup ex tissues )

At work today, my ulcers started acting up again. It's pretty depressing. I'm 24 and I have ulcers. The sad thing is that my 23 year old coworker has them too. We trade tips. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/07/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( ulcers young stress )

At work today, one of my coworkers was singing that he got high every day. I told him to pipe down, but he kept singing. He's 15 and we work at a Christian camp for kids. I'm pretty sure he's never even seen pot. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/07/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( 15 marijuana summer camp )

At work today, I reviewed my dinky portfolio of company stock. It's pretty pitiful, as you'd expect. It turns out that a share of stock costs less than a copy of our newspaper. I guess the newspaper can be reused in packages, at least. The stock is more worthless. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/03/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( stock newspaper package )

At work today, I thought that the boring part of my job was over. Of course, I was wrong. The boring part is the entire job. I spent today literally counting paperclips. I work in office supplies, but we're always low on our own stock. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/02/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( boring office supplies stock )

At work today, I refilled my bottled water with coffee. My coworker Anne saw it and started screaming. "Janny!" she shouted, "I think somebody poopooed in your water!"I shrugged my shoulders and drank before telling her the truth. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/30/17 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bottled water poo coffee )

At work today, my computer kept locking up. Big surprise. The weird thing is that everybody else's did too. Later, we found out that a hacker had planted a virus. What kind of person would plant a virus at a senior home? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/29/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( computer locking up senior citizens )

At work today, my coworker came in wearing the shortest skirt I've ever seen. I recognized it because I have the original version of the same skirt. I'm convinced she cut and shortened it herself. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/27/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( short skirt hem cut )

At work today, the bigshot executive from corporate visited our tiny little office. He had the smallest feet I've ever seen. When he walked, he looked like a pigeon trying to balance. He's loaded, of course. I'm dumbemployed.

by nalcon_no9 on 09/27/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( executive corporate small feed )

At work today, I looked back in the stock room and found a really cool xylophone. Some of the keys didn't work right, but a lot of them sounded absolutely perfect. I was a little schocked, at first. That's because I work at a garden store. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/25/17 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( xylophone shocked garden store )

At work today, I had a devilish idea to sneak into the supply closet and take a nap on the extra cot we have. I tip toed over the carpet and was very careful before I opened the door. And then I woke up the person who was already sleeping inside. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cot nap devilish )

At work today, I continued my life sentence directly underneath the air conditioner. Being cool is cruel. Now I have to literally bring a sweater with me to work every day. The weather outside today? Over 93 degrees. I have on a cardigan. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/22/17 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (1) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cardigan air conditioners cold )
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