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Weird Shift

At work today, I shared an apple half with one of the interns. It was fine, but as I spit out seeds, I noticed something: he didn't spit out any. I'm working with an intern who eats like an animal. A dumb animal. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/06/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( apples seeds swallow )

At work today, I was taking video of the office for a recruiting video. Every coworker over 40 was completely unable to understand that my Flip Mini was a video camera. At least they acted more embarrassing. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/05/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( video flip mini camera )

At work today, I had to call the receptionist three times asking if I had mail. The third time, she relented and told me I had it. A pink slip. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/04/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( receptionist mail pink slip )

At work today, a parade was going on outside the restaurant. At the end of the day, I checked the window. Somehow, there was a trombone imprint on the outside. I cleaned it as well as I could. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/02/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( parade trombone stain )

At work today, I was stocking my station for lunch. I go to check if I need bacon. I find the pan on the shelf wrapped in plastic wrap. It was completely empty except for the greasy paper towels. Who wraps a pan of greasy paper towels? I'm dumbemployed.

by hbk134 on 10/01/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( bacon towels grease )

At work today, I counted the number of minutes I've spent in the elevator. 2 a day. 4 years. 300 days a year. I've spent 2400 minutes in the elevator. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 10/01/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( sad elevator minutes )

At work today, my coworker and I made sales calls together. On the phone, we are a good team. In person, not so much. He's 6'5. I'm 5'2. I look like his daughter. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/29/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( daughter tall short )

At work today, my coworker was yelling at someone as if they were deaf. They weren't- they just didn't know English. I guess he thought yelling would translate it. It doesn't. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/28/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (14) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( deaf yelling english )

At work today, the neighborhood association came by to ask for a donation. They're like the mob- the only difference is that the enforcer is a 68 year old woman named Estelle. She made an offer I couldn't refuse. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/26/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( neighborhood association mafia offer )

At work today, a strange whistling sound emanated from the desk next to me. The origin? Emmanuel's teeth. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/25/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( teeth whistling emmanuel )

At work today, we sent jam out to favorite customers for Thanksgiving. We got one back in the mail today. "Thanks for the gift," the note said. "But give me blackberry." That's not how gifts work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 09/24/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( thanksgiving jam blackberries )

At work today, I realized that it's my third anniversary working in this building. I also realized that none of the security guards know my name. Or my face. I'm dumbemployed.

by waltzingxdragon on 09/23/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( anniversary face security guard )
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