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Weird Shift

At work today, there were about three new people milling around the back room. I talked to them eventually. One of them was employee. The other two were just lost. I let them continue looking around, though. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/04/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( milling back room lost )

At work today, I finished an internet project that took way too long. I updated my Facebook profile. That counts as work, right? I certainly did it at work. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/02/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( facebook profile update )

At work today, the newest version of our corporate enterprise software came out. It turns out it's not the best stuff. And it's all in French. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 06/01/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( enterprise software french translate )

At work today, I started hearing a new ringtone across the hallway. It was the new Jay Z single that's been playing everywhere. The culprit? Donald- who is a 64 year old Vietnam vet. I think I'm in love. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/29/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( ringtone jay-z veteran )

At work today, I finally cleaned off my computer monitor using tissues from the bathroom. My monitor turned out to be pretty dirty. I had to make 3 trips for more tissues. And it still looks fuzzy. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/26/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (3) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( computer monitor cleaning tissues )

At work today, my friend called my cell phone at work. I couldn't answer because I was on the clock. That didn't stop him from calling 7 more times. The emergency? He wanted to ask if I'd ever seen "Con Air." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/26/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cell phone con air call )

At work today, I wrote a "Happy Anniversary" card for one of my employees. I intended it for his fifth anniversary with the company. But he came into my office crying. "Me and Betty are getting a divorce," he said. Whoops. Bad choice of words. I'm dumbemployed.

by sweet_fire_fly on 05/24/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( happy anniversary fifth anniversary divorce )

At work today, I approached my job with a new sense of certainty. I will do what I want, when I want, how I want to do it. My first order of business? A long nap on the reception area couch. I think my new certainty is that I'll be fired soon. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/23/18 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( certainty nap receptionist )

At work today, three people took cigarette breaks at the same time. I watched them from the window. They were playing Uno. I would have been mad- but I was mostly sad I wasn't invited. I even smoke, too. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/21/18 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (6) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( cigarette uno breaks )

At work today, my aunt came into my workplace. I love her, but only because it's an obligation. "This is a nice office," she said drily. "Which corner is yours?" Then I showed her to my cubicle. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 05/21/18 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( corner cubicle aunt )

At work today, I did a Twitter search for my company. I found it alright- there were over 29 tweets complaining about the job and the company. Two of them were from "Lilaxing"- who I realized is my boss. I'm dumbemployed.

by madmouse90 on 05/14/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (18) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( twitter tweeting complaining )

At work today, I mowed the lawn for my neighbors. I used a riding mower. They have a dog. No, I didn't run over the dog. But I did shred at least 6 chew toys. I hope it doesn't come out of my pay. Not that I'm telling them. I'm dumbemployed.

by elena_nahonkova on 05/11/18 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( chew toys dog mowing )
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