Bosses

At work today, our boss told us to call him Nick instead of Nicholas. That'd make sense- except his name is Matthew. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, management issued a new dictate: no Pagers on the store floor. No pagers? 1993 called and wants its rule back. I'm dunmbemployed.

At work today, I complained to my manager about my schedule. He apologized for 40 minutes (but didn't change anything, of course). I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my supervisor questioned my "qualifications" to create a chili con verde burrito. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my supervisor smelled like fresh onions. I asked him why. Then he told me he had no idea he smelled. Whoops. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss corrected my grammar on an email. The problem is that his was actually wrong. I can't tell him though. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss announced he had a colonoscopy. I asked him why he brought it up. Then I saw him walk. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss quit. Working, that is. He's still a paid employee- he just does nothing. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss grilled me on my religion. He wasn't curious- he wanted to find tax credits. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I took a new picture for my ID. My boss's comment? "Obviously, we didn't have a makeup budget." Thanks. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I found a heads up penny on the sidewalk. Turns out my boss glued it there to fool suckers like me. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my supervisor gave me petty cash for lunch. My allowance? $5. I can get half a meal with that. Maybe. I'm dumbemployed.