Bosses

At work today, a drunk homeless guy came into the electronics store. I told my boss and asked him to handle it. I don't think my boss understood. He tried selling the guy a 32 inch plasma. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my supervisor handed out bus passes provided by the company. I was pretty excited to get free bus fare. My boss saw me smiling. "That will be great for when your car is in the shop." Uh, I wouldn't take the bus if I had a car. I stopped smiling. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was quoting a rap lyric ironically to a coworker. My boss stepped in and told me that he loved that band and had seen them in concert. The group I quoted was Kriss Kross. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I carried in my puppy to work for about five seconds. Most of my coworkers loved it. But my boss sent me an email that his allergies flared up. He's on the floor above us- I don't know how he even heard about it. But I still got in trouble. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was a bit depressed over my soccer team losing last night. I came in with my head down. My boss asked what was wrong and I told him. "Remember the bright side," he said. "I wouldn't have thought you'd even be coordinated enough to play." Thanks, boss. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, as usual, the boss came in my office as I was leaving. It was Friday and I had to deposit my day-late paycheck. He said I had 3 minutes left. He then proceeded yet again to give me a lecture on how I should use my personal iPhone that he doesn't pay for. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, we all dressed up in the football jerseys of our favorite team. My boss wore a soccer jersey. "It's football in England," he said snobbishly. Except the team's jersey he wore plays in Spain. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss started iming with some of us at work. Productivity- ugh. I don't think he knows what he's doing. He put "lol" after every line. Even the ones about downsizing. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was waiting for my boss to come into the meeting room. Well, I started to make myself comfy. Too comfy. By the time he came in, I was drooling on the table. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss asked for cream in his coffee, but I forgot it. I panicked at the elevator. Then I saw soy milk in the fridge. I used it. The bad thing is that he liked it better- now I have to steal soy milk daily. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I told my boss I'd be a couple of minutes late from lunch due to a haircut. "I wouldn't know what that's like," he said. He's bald- and, apparently, pretty sensitive about it. I crept away without saying anything. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was showing a condo to a middle aged couple. The guy liked it, but the woman didn't seem too excited. "I really don't like that painting," she said. Why does no one understand that the house doesn't come with decorations? I'm dumbemployed.