Bosses

At work today, I started my job as a organist at a small church. Now I'm realizing the biggest problem- how can I complain about my job when my boss is a pastor? I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I felt like a declassified secret agent. Why? My boss released me to talk to the press. Of course, I work at a Burger King, so I don't know what that even means. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my immediate superior asked me to voluntarily transfer to our Vancouver office from Toronto. If I don't "volunteer," I get laid off. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I brought my boss in donuts. Then I checked my email, where he announced to the whole office his new gluten free diet. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss was stationed in the cubicle next to me due to a moving situation. I thought he was sighing loudly. Turns out he was snoring. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I got on the elevator at the same time as my boss. I started making small talk, but then realized his eyes were shut- he was asleep. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was asked to submit a form for reimbursement for my recent health checkup. My boss asked for it nicely. Probably because it was a 28 page form. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I showed up about ten minutes late par usual. This time, my boss was waiting at my desk. He wasn't mad that I was late, though. He was mad that I hadn't brought him a cup of coffee too. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I learned my calling in life. My boss told everyone in the office that "Josh is a sales master." My calling is to go to law school- my boss didn't know my name is John. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss told a twenty minute story about how he was pickpocketed. Then he found his wallet. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I prayed our new boss would be better than the old one. His first decree? All the men have to wear ties. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I was working on a car for a rich guy. He told me to fix the automatic transition. That's the first problem- it's a manual. I'm dumbemployed.