Bosses

At work today, my boss told me that I wouldn't be able to take the next weekend off. I asked her why, and she said it was because Jeremy's girlfriend was having a baby. Jeremy's 16 years old. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, our principal decided to sit with some of the teachers at our table. He didn't know what to say and tried to break the ice. He asked if any of us had plans for Spring break. No one said anything. Spring break was last week. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss was wearing a skirt that showed way too much leg. She sat on my desk after lunch to tell me that my shirt was inappropriate because the "colors were too bright." I smiled and nodded, trying not to cry. I could see her underwear. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss decided to call all of us in for diversity training. Our company has ten people in it. We're all white, but I'm the only girl. "Julie's our resident minority," my boss said. He made me give a speech "about my struggle". I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss decided that we were going to rename my department from "Marketing" to "Advertising." I asked him why. "I was told to eliminate the marketing department," he said. I have a good boss. Until corporate figures it out, at least. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, my boss called me into his office for a "special request." Did I mention that he's gorgeous? My knees shook when he asked me if I was doing anything tonight. "No!" I shouted. "Good," he said. "Then you can cover for me. I have a hot date." I stayed til 9. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I took my son with me in order to show him what a hospital looks like. The chief resident came in and said he didn't realize I'd adopted. I told him I hadn't adopted. "Really?" he asked. "Because the kid's actually good looking." I smiled and walked away. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I told my boss that I couldn't do my shift on Friday because of a funeral. He put up the week's schedules and- guess what?- I was working. I told him the problem and he said, "I know, I have Carrie working on Friday." I'm Carrie. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I billed my firm for having worked this past weekend. My boss called me in to ask about it. I told him that I thought I should be compensated for missing out on my weekend. "I guess," he said. "But I'm sure you're not doing anything else on the weekends." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I spent the entire time framing my boss's pictures of his family. He had me spend my lunch break getting new photo paper. At the end of the day, I showed him. "Hmm," he said. "I'll get someone else next time." I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I received an email with my boss's "big idea" for the future of the company. It was my idea- which he stole. I'm dumbemployed.

At work today, I believed I'd get a 10% raise. Instead, I got a gift basket. The best thing was a $10 Starbucks card. I'm dumbemployed.