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At work today, my coworker Jan told me that my boss speaks French. I'm originally from Belgium. So I went up to my boss and said, "Bonjour, parlez-vous Francais?" He stared at me. "Who the hell are you?" Thanks Jan. I'm dumbemployed.

by wamdam on 01/15/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( french belgium stared )

At work today, I was browsing movie listings on my computer, hoping for an escape. My coworker snuck up next to me and smiled. "We can watch a movie at my place," he said. That's the first conversation we've ever had. I almost ran away. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/15/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( movies movie tickets creepy )

At work today, I got 300 new envelopes for a mailing I have to do. I specifically asked for self stick. Instead, the supplies guy handed me an envelope sponge and a note. "These are self stick," he said. "Stick them. Yourself." I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/15/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( envelopes stick sponge )

At work today, I seriously believed that I could get someone to cover my Thursday afternoon shift. The store is slow that day and the work is easy. The only problem? I don't think anyone really...likes me. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/15/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( thursday schedule shift )

At work today, I gave a little mini-tour of our cake shop to a customer. He pointed to a wedding cake and asked if he could get the male figurine. "Well," I said, "I can get you both if you have a wedding." He shook his head. "Just get me the man. The beautiful, tiny man." I'm dumbemployed.

by saistmoi on 01/14/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( wedding cake figurine )

At work today, my boss showed me how to make a "real hot dog." He slathered on lettuce, mayonnaise, mustard, and tomatoes and then served it to a customer. I asked what he thought about it. "I think I prefer fake hot dogs," he said. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/14/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (2) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( hot dogs toppings serving )

At work today, I offered to replace the milk bag (at restaurants, milk comes in a bag). What I didn't realize was that it was right next to the knives. Have you ever speared a milk bag? I feel like I killed a cow. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/14/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Just Dumb ( milk milk bags restaurant )

At work today, I took on a new project of watching my coworker's mouse clicks. I decided to count them all. Through that, I discovered that somebody isn't doing much work. The entire day, he only clicked 12 times. Either I can't count or somebody is sleeping on the job. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/14/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( mouse click counting )

At work today, I went down to HR to make a simple address change. I didn't escape his clutches until an hour and a half later. Do they really like telling us about updated company policy? I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/13/19 at 6:20pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (4) Permalink
Filed Under: Overtime ( hr company policy address )

At work today, I shared a tip with a customer on how to change the flapper in her toilet. She then asked if I could come over and change her flapper. At first, I thought she was hitting on me. Then I realized that she just wanted me to do work for her for free. I'm dumbemployed.

by madhatterjr on 01/13/19 at 3:11pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (5) Permalink
Filed Under: Customers ( flapper toilet work )

At work today, an incredibly hot chick came in to ask if we needed to upgrade our insulation (or something like that). Naturally, my boss called "dibs." Then I reminded him that he's married. With children. He said dibs still held. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/13/19 at 12:52pm - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (8) Permalink
Filed Under: Bosses ( hot girl children married )

At work today, I heard an ethereal singing coming from the back room, near where we store all the extra pallets of t-shirts. I wandered back there, only to find Mike from receivables playing piano and singing his heart out. I'll never let him know that it was beautiful. I'm dumbemployed.

by anonymous on 01/13/19 at 8:33am - Yep, you're Dumbemployed (7) Permalink
Filed Under: Weird Shift ( singing t-shirts warehouse )
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